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ELEANOR
Avengers Headquarters
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Everywhere was agony.
The moment I woke up, I refused to look at anybody. I had had sacrifice more than what my heart could take and the blood was in my hands. It was more than grief or loss that I felt. It was guilt. The guilt that I had managed to suppress out of my system had come hurtling back at me, opening up like a shaken bottle of pop and exploding everywhere. It was like a limb had been torn from my body and I stood no chance of saving it.
'She's up,' I heard someone whisper. 'I think she knows.'
'Someone's gotta tell her, Cap.'
'Tony, let me—'
'Stay here, Nat. I'll talk to her.'
I shifted on the covers, turning on the side it didn't hurt. I couldn't look at Tony when he walked in, the guilt ripping me apart limb from limb. I squeezed my eyes shut, biting my lips to bite back a cry. I was a murderer. I deserved nothing. All this love and children, it came at a price. Tony was silent. Taking a seat on the bed beside me, I felt him exhale slowly. I pressed a hand to my face, a deep sob leaving me without restraint. I could not make amends to the sin I had committed. I didn't feel like I deserved anything.
'Elle,' he murmured. I shook my head, not ready to hear anyone's consolations.
'Go away,' I tried to say but ended with a loud sob. I saw two figures behind the viewing glass look away when they heard the desolation in my voice. 'Please.'
'You can't stay like this, Elle,' he said softly. 'What happened, happened, okay?'
