jackal | time [ g ]

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feeling the bed dip beside you was a feeling that you dread, it means that the both of you are going to have to talk it out after all the mean words targeted at each other.

Ryad was never one to compromise when it comes to solving the murder of his brother, every small piece of evidence has to be looked at, ever single lead has to be followed, every single phone call has to be made, nothing will be left behind.

at what cost? Ryad's health and your relationship.

"i'm sorry, for everything i said to you. i'll make sure to think of your emotions first before speaking next time. i love you." his voice low and shaky as he kept his gaze onto the ceiling as he knows damn well that seeing your puffy eyes would break him even further.

still keeping your back to him with the tear soaked covers up to your nose, you still managed to whisper out a soft,

"i love you too."

-

papers all scattered on the floor, strings hooking around pins that were held against a huge cock board, stacks and stacks of folders on the desk, empty pens forgotten in the bin, coffee stains in the papers, someone slapping their hands against the wall-

"Ryad, listen to me please, we'll find him, we'll find who killed him. give yourself a break and just give us some time-"

cutting off your sentence by swatting his hand barely inches away from your face, Ryad's expression was scrunched up in anger, maybe hurt.

"how much time? you keep saying that but you never sit to invest even a little of your time into helping me, he's my brother, my brother! do you even care about how i feel? do you feel how i'm feeling? or are you saying all this just to make me put more time into your than my dead brother-"

this time, it was your turn to cut him off, your fingers slapping against his cheeks as tears pooled in your eyes, you get that he's stress and is pressing for an answer but you weren't going to tolerate his behavior towards you any longer.

"are you even hearing what you're saying? do i not spend time with you, sitting down and calling all the possible leads? why do you think i would do all this for you if i didn't care about how you were feeling?" your voice cracking as you held back the tears from falling, your heart aching as your lover was blind to your concern for him.

staring at each other, all you could feel was anger and frustration, the opposite of how the both of you used to look at each other, fits balled up and heart rate pacing. this isn't how you thought things would turn out on this late night.

"whatever, your actions contradict your words, let me do this alone, the more you try to interfere, the more i wish you were gone." Ryad's words stung as he picked certain files and carry them out to the living room, leaving you to feel the pain as you stood alone in the room.

wiping away your tears, you reached for your phone with shaky hands only to remember that it's charging outside, where Ryad is.

as you walked into the living room, where Ryad sat on the couch, still fumbling around with the stack of papers, you walked past him, ignoring the stray piece of paper that floated to your feet as he flipped though the files, you weren't going to pick it up for him.

and as expected, he walked towards you, picking it up and not sparing as glance at you.

safe to say you did the same, keeping your eyes on your phone and walking off with it.

another typical lonely night.

-

heaving out a sigh as you fell backwards onto the bed, your mind filled with regret, questions and doubt.

did you really need to say all those things?

Ryad was already stressed enough and having you, his only support at this time, blame him and yell at him when he's at his lowest, was it really the best choice to do?

you understand that he's stressed and the weight is just increasing over time, his endless worries holding him back from his best self, his mind and heart were conflicted, trying its best to come up with the solution to his pain.

hiding your face in the palm of your hands as your heart told you to go out and apologize to him, tell him that you were going to slowly work it out with him and that you didn't mean what you said.

but your pride was holding you back, insisting that you didn't do anything wrong, you were just standing up for yourself.

you weren't going to be the one to apologize, not this time.

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