Kill Me Heal Me - JENLISA

Chapter 20

Jennie's POV

I didn't know what to do. Clearly the best idea would be to have no contact at all with Kai after what happened, considering the circumstances. And there wasn't a doubt in my mind that Lisa would throw a fit if she ever found out, but there was also a part of me that found it hard to let go completely.

The problem was the fact that I had known this guy for my entire life. It felt weird to just leave him out of my life all together, but it didn't seem right to bring him back either. He betrayed me in the worst way possible, though—would it be so bad to earn more clarity?

It still bugs me, to be honest, and maybe if I meet up with him to talk, it could help me move on. As far as Lisa being mad, she didn't control me, not when she hadn't texted me all day. Not being at school was one thing, but no contact at all was completely weird to me. It made me question my trust in her.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Jisoo voiced her opinion with a frown on her face, looking worried. "With all the shit he put you through, I think it would be best to just leave it alone."

Disappointed, I looked down at my hands in my lap. Those weren't the words I wanted to hear. Granted, they might be what I need to hear.

"Then again." Jisoo narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend as Chaeyoung shrugged her off, continuing her words. "You guys had a friendship before you started dating; you were pretty much inseparable. I can see why you would want to."

I groaned, slamming my face into my hands. None of that helped at all.

"Babe." Chaeyoung sighed and moved closer to me. "I say do whatever your gut tells you is right."

"I don't know what that is, though, Chaeng." I whined, flopping onto my back as I thought about all the possible outcomes. "That's the problem."

"Then don't. He didn't give you any good, though." Jisoo said nonchalantly, and Chaeyoung instantly glared at her.

"You're a smart girl, Jen." Chaeyoung chimed in again, knocking into my raised knee. "You'll figure it out."

And... I figured it out.

The more I thought about Lisa, the more angry I became.

I was angry. I was angry that I had yet to hear anything from her since early in the morning and angry that I was forced to make this decision myself. I knew as soon as Lisa found out that I'd be meeting Kai, she would no doubt blow a gasket. Did I think it would ruin our relationship? No. She was still hiding secrets from me as well, so I didn't find my actions wrong at all.

She should know that Kai wasn't going to do any harm to me. I owed it to myself and Kai to meet with him because of our extensive history. He was my best friend before anyone else besides Chaeyoung, and I didn't take lightly just pushing someone of that significance out of my life.

I didn't tell anyone where I went or what my decision was; I didn't need their unwanted opinions in this case, so it was best to keep it a secret.

As I pulled up to the cafe, I could see Kai sitting at one of the tables by the window. He lowered his gaze to his coffee, which had two creams and one sugar. He occasionally leaned over to observe his phone.

One last time I did the same, wondering if Lisa would have the decency to send a text or call, but once again she let me down.

With some vengeance running through my blood, I got out of my car and walked into the warm building.

Kai's eye immediately snapped to my incoming figure, making me feel self-conscious, which was weird because I'd never felt it before.

I could tell how different we both were from the beginning of this semester.