Weightless - Luke Hemmings

Chapter 10

I didn't sleep at all, instead I laid in bed in slow torture. I just laid there, blood trickling from my arms onto the bed. I bit my lip to stop the loud sobs that would wake everyone up. Every time the bleeding began to slow down, I made sure it continued. I deserved this. I deserved it all. I heard a knock at the window, making me freeze in fear.

"Rose, it's Luke" I heard him call. I began to panic, he couldn't see me like this. I got up, throwing a large jumper on and opening the curtains. Luke was sitting in the large tree outside my window, giving me a smile when he saw me.

"Go away Luke." I snapped, and for a second he looked hurt.

"5 minutes, that's all I want." He pleaded, and something made me cave in. Maybe it was the way he looked so sad, maybe it was how he smiled at me, maybe it was the pleading tone in his voice.

 I opened the window, sitting on the branch beside him.

"Why are you out here?" I asked and he smiled.

"To apologize" he said and I sighed.

"Luke, what you did wasn't okay" I whispered and he nodded.

"I know. I'm sorry. That doesn't fix it, I get it. It's all I can offer you now." he said.

"An apology? Wow, that makes it all better" I said sarcastically. It was then I realized he wasn't looking at my face, but my arms. My jumper had a few blood stains coming through. I anxiously crossed them, coughing awkwardly. Suddenly my sleeves were yanked up, revealing my fresh cuts, which were still bleeding.

"Hey!" I said angrily, trying to pull back. He kept hold of my hands, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Rose" he whispered, as I pulled my arms fiercely away.

"You seem surprised" I said angrily and he shook his head.

"Why would you do this to yourself?" He asked and I laughed.

"Why? You witness the causes everyday, and now you're asking me why?!" I screamed, and without saying a word; he hugged me.

Luke Hemmings was hugging me.

Luke was hugging me.

Me.

I sat still, not knowing what to do.

"You're so.." he paused, trying to find the words.

"Fat, ugly, worthless, or how about pathetic?" I suggested, a few of my own tears falling.

"Broken" he ended.

"I'm getting better" I lied. It was true enough, wasn't it?

"Clearly" he said sarcastically, and I pushed him away lightly, pulling my sleeves down.

"You tell anyone Hemmings, and I'll kill you" I warned, crossing my arms across my chest.

"You need help, Rose" he said softly.

"Help? No what I need is for everyone to stop treating me like shit, and then wondering why I'm like this!" I said angrily.

"Rose, this isn't a positive way to deal with the situation" he said and I laughed.

"There's no positive way to deal with this, Luke. It's not some movie. You can't come waltzing up here and act like an apology will make everything okay!" I said, my body shaking with anger.

"Look. Let me help you" he said and I stood up, the branch shaking slightly.

"Go home, Hemmings" I said, climbing back through the window. I expected him to leave, so I sat down, grasping my now red razor. I gasped as it was pulled from my grip, watching as it was thrown across the room. I only realized then that I was crying, loud ugly sobs that made my whole body shake with each one.

"Oh Rose" Luke whispered, lifting me onto his lap and hugging me. After struggling for a minute, I finally let myself melt into him. I cried into his chest, as he stroked my back. It felt weird, being in this situation, but it was strangely comforting. Comforting to have someone else finally be there.

"I'm sorry" I croaked out, clinging to him.

"No, don't be sorry" he whispered, and I realized he was crying too.

Luke was crying over me.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up" he whispered, lifting me into his arms. As he silently carried me to the small bathroom, I heard him mutter something.

"Is it normal to be this light?"

He set me down on the side of the bath, lightly pulling my sleeves up. He sighed, pulling my hoodie off completely. I was left in a tank top, revealing how many scars I really had. They went all the way up to my shoulders, long red lines, faded scars, scabbing cuts. He took a deep breath, biting his lip as he looked around the bathroom. He pulled out the first aid kit we kept beside the sink, pulling out antiseptic creams and bandages.

We sat in silence as he bandaged my arms, as the tears continued to fall down our cheeks. When he was done, he carried me back to my bedroom, despite my feeble attempts for him to let me walk. He laid me in bed, pulling a clean jumper over me. He lightly pulled the duvet over me, standing up. In my sleepy state, I gripped his wrist as he went to walk away.

"Please don't go" I whispered.

"You sure?" he asked, sitting beside me. I nodded, moving over and pulling him beside me. He got under the covers with me, gently wrapping his arms around me. I curled up slightly, smiling slightly at the warmth of his body against mine.

This was so wrong.

This was so wrong.

As I fell asleep I heard a whisper.

"God, I'm so sorry."

+

"Rose, wake up!" I heard someone say, shaking me. I looked up to see Finn, a small smile on his face. I groaned, turning away from him. He laughed, sitting beside me and shaking me again.

"Get up, lazy" he laughed, and I sat up sleepily. My mind ran over last night's events, it must have been a dream, and I looked down at my arms. Sure enough, I was in a clean jumper.

"Come on, Mum made breakfast" he said and my heart skipped a beat. I panicked slightly, thinking of an excuse.

"I'm not hungry, I'll eat later" I lied. He sighed, nodding lightly.

"You sure?" he said softly and I nodded, he nodded back, before kissing my forehead and walking out.

I didn't go back to sleep, instead pulling myself up and towards the wardrobe. I pulled on some black skinny jeans, as well as an old band shirt. I pulled my Green Day hoodie on, smiling at the warmth of it. I walked downstairs, seeing Mum and Finn eating together. My stomach made a strange noise, one all too familiar.

Rose, you don't need it.

I sighed, turning around and pulling some old boots on. I opened the door, walking outside. The cold air hit me hard, even with my hoodie on. I strode down the path, plugging my headphones in. I spotted someone leaning on a fence. Ashton.

"Oh look, Rose" he laughed, gripping my arm tightly and pulling me over to him. I hissed in pain, pushing him away.

"Go away Ashton" I said angrily.

"Oh and what are you going to do if I don't?" he taunted, gripping my chin with his hand, tilting my head up to look at him.

"This" I snapped, slapping him across the face. He stumbled back a bit, and I took it as a chance to run. I ran as fast I could, running straight into something.

Luke.

"Rose, what're you doing?" he asked, pulling me up. Just as Ashton came over, and I watched a look of fear take over Luke's face.

"Luke, perfect timing." he smirked. I looked up at Luke, and he looked at both of us. He gulped, looking at me sadly. I sighed, knowing he'd done it again.