Weightless - Luke Hemmings

Chapter 11

"I'm so sorry" Luke whispered, as Ashton walked away. I pushed him away, wiping any stray tears that may have fell.

This time wasn't even that bad. Just insults, the occasional slap. I mean, it stung a lot, but I was left with no bruises.

"Rose, I-"

"Don't give me that crap, Hemmings" I snapped.

"I didn't have a choice" he said sadly.

"You had a choice! You always have a fucking choice!" I screamed.

"If I don't, I'll be like you!" he yelled.

"Do you know how pathetic that sounds?" I screamed, my voice trembling.

"Look, I like these guys, and I like you!" he said angrily.

"You've made it very clear who you really like" I said, turning away.

"Hey, wait!" he said, pulling me to face him.

"Don't touch me" I snapped at him. He dropped my hand, looking down at me.

"Look, I'm sorry okay" he said and I laughed loudly.

"I'm sure you are" I said sarcastically.

"I don't know why you're doing this"

"Me? I'm not the one who lies, all the fucking time!" I cried out, and I could tell I'd hit a nerve.

"Rose.."

"Do you even see how much you hurt me? You say you're here for me, that I'll be okay. You tell me you're sorry. You tell me that you won't leave. Then your little friends come along and you become one of them! It fucking hurts me, Luke" I said, tears pouring down my cheeks.

"Look, I can't help this, I'm sorry." he said and I sighed.

"Whatever Luke, just don't bother anymore." I said, walking away. I refused to wipe my tears away, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I didn't go home either, I walked until I ended up at the woods. My body shivered in fear at the memories. I walked inside, twigs breaking beneath my feet. Large trees loomed over me the further I walked.

I got to the clearing, sitting down. Only then I let myself cry, knowing nobody would hear. I cried for what seemed like forever, until I was completely numb. I was stupid to think Luke would ever like me. He's one of them, it was clear. The worst part was, I knew I still had feelings for him, weird twisted feelings that I wasn't used to.

I couldn't love Luke.

I couldn't.

Could I?

+

Luke was the only thing on my brain as I sat alone in my room. The stench of blood filled the room from last night. I was sat against the wall staring into space. I could feel the tears lightly falling down my face, landing on my lap. I'd been like this for 3 days, not eating, not sleeping, not moving. The door swung open, Finn walking in. He shut it behind him, kneeling in front of me.

"Rose, please talk to me" he said, placing a hand on my knee. He looked exhausted, bags under his eyes and messy hair.

"Rose, please" he pleaded but I shook my head.

"We're worried about you" he said suddenly, and I looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

"Don't be. I'm fine. I'm just a little tired." I whispered.

"You're not fine, are you?" he said, and I sighed, shaking my head. I burst into tears then, sobbing and shaking.

"Oh Rose" he whispered as I buried my face into my knees. He hugged me, but I jolted away from him.

"Get out" I whispered, trembling as I stood up. He stood up to, hands out, palms down.

"Rose, just tell me what happened, what has been happening." he pleaded, but I turned away.

"Finn. Just go" I said and he exhaled loudly. I heard him leave, the door slamming behind him. I screamed into my hands, trying to think of what to do. I felt like I was going to explode. I grabbed the nearest thing to me, a glass, and threw it at the wall. It shattered as I fell to my knees.

"Rose?" Mum yelled, as I heard her hurried footsteps come towards my room. I jumped up, locking the door. She rattled the door handle, anxiously calling my name. I walked away, glass shards piercing my foot as I walked. I didn't pay any attention to it.

I picked up another fragile object, a photo frame. Looking into it, I saw it was a photo of me. A man had his arm around me, wide, real smiles on our faces. My Dad. My tears splattered onto it, breaking me from the trance. I screamed again, my voice shaky as I hurled it at the wall. I curled into a ball, my body trembling.

"Rose, open the door!" Finn yelled, but I refused.

"Go away!" I screamed, tugging at my hair in anger.

"Rose, baby, please. Just open up." Mum said, and I could tell she was crying.

"I can't do it, Mum. I can't." I cried out, and she started sobbing.

"Baby, just open up. It'll be okay."

"It won't be okay, it's never okay!" I screamed, standing up and grimacing as my head span. Despite all the yelling, the screaming, I felt myself fall to the floor as I drifted off.

+

My eyes opened, and I saw I was in Mum's bed. I looked around, filled with a dizzy confusion. Sitting up, I whimpered in pain as my vision blurred. I laid back down, pulling the duvet further over me. I heard the door open quietly, as a warm hand gently felt my forehead. I opened my eyes again, seeing Mum smiling softly down at me. She sighed quietly, kneeling down beside the bed. She took my hand in hers, rubbing her fingers back and forth over it.

"How're you feeling?" she asked, her voice quiet and soothing.

"Head hurts" I whispered simply. She nodded, opening the drawer beside me. She handed me a pill, as well as a glass of water. I took it without any questions, I just wanted to feel better.

"Rose, what's been happening to you?" she asked suddenly, her voice a little bit more firm.

"Nothing" I lied, setting the water down.

"It's not nothing, Rose. Something must've caused your meltdown yesterday" she said, and I pulled my hand from hers.

"I was just tired, overworked. Okay" I lied, looking her straight in the eye.

"We'll talk about it another time." she said finally, not wanting to push me. I sat up, swinging my legs off the bed. My toes grazed the carpet, before I stood up fully.

"I'm going to be late for school" I said, but she smiled, standing beside me.

"No, I've told the school you won't be in this week" she said and I simply nodded.

"Oh." I said, walking out past her and into my bedroom. There was no mess, no smashed glass. The photo had been put in a new frame, and stood in the same spot. I sighed slowly, shutting the door and laying on my bed. I slipped my headphones in, pressing play as music filled my ears.

I couldn't stop thinking about him.