Frememies - Gregstophe

|Christophe - Chapter Two|

Pfft, I uploaded the third chapter before this one! XD 

This is bull shit! Nothing has to be done, that God Lover just needs to stay the fuck away from me and stay away! "No!" I scream slamming my shovel onto the carpeted floor.

"Christophe, you and Gregory have to stop fighting, mkay? It's effecting your learning and also fighting is bad, mkay?" Mr.Macy said balancing his head on his neck. "If you want, I can call Tweek and Craig in here. They used to fight all the time, and now their gay. That could happen again but with you two, mkay."

I jumped up from my seat. "No way, thiz iz utter madnezz if you think him and I could ever, and I mean EVER be friendz again after what he did, you are zadly miztaken! That God Lover can suck hiz dick and-"

"Mr.Mole, that kind of language is not mkay, mkay!?" Mr.Macy announced glaring at me. "Now sit down, mkay, and make friends with Gregory!"

"No."

Gregory looked down in shame and defeat. Pathetic. He hasn't said a word sense the fight and because I'm the only one who seems to be against it and I'm the only one retaliating, he started to get on my nerves. Damned brit. "Christophe, mkay, you must make peace or I cannot in good conscience let either of you out of my office, mkay!"

Gregory stood up and slammed his hands down on the teacher's desk. "Then let us out in no conscience at all, we will never be friends!" Mr.Macy was taken back in surprise. "Now, you're going to let us out in ten seconds, or we will walk out ourselves, do you here me!?" He yelled picking up my shovel and pointing the sharp end of it at him. 

The teacher nodded and shakily took a gulp of air. Weaklings should not run our schools were we teach children! Instead, it should be run by trained eileates! Not some cockmasters that lick God's pussy! 

"Good. Christophe, we're going." He hissed with a cold voice throwing my shovel back to me with one swift motion. "Don't tell me what to do you uncle fucker!" I spat right back at him. And there it was. That same look of grief and disappointment from earlier! What the Hell is up with Gregory and that whiny-ass look!? I'm not a fucking babysitter, I don't need to watch over him and record his every damned move!

His expression hardened again and he spat at my feet. "Fine! Stay here then with Mr.Macy for all I care! I'm leaving so are you coming or not!?" He screamed in anger. "I'm coming, juzt don't tell me what to do!"

"Fine! Let's go then!"

"Fine! Maybe we will!"

"Fine! We will then!"

"Fine! It was nice to see you again!"

"Zhut up and go!"

He growled and slammed the door open and half angerily, half polite and slammed the door shut, shaking the doorway. Apparently, he's gotten stronger over the years. Good for him. He was always weak. We walk off in different directions, him going right, me going left. No, I'm not going to class. Why? Because as far as I care, I know everything I need to know about life. 

I scratch at my yellow finger nails. Fucking side effects of smoking. Speaking of smoking I need to light a cigarette... "I hate Gregory, and zat FUCKING teacher for forcing uz together!" I pull out a cigarette and light one end and take a puff. 

My muscles relaxed and my gaurd went down. I took in a long drag on the cigarette and let the smoke leave my lips. I smiled the tiniest bit as I watched the grey and black smoke rise to the ceiling. Dragons... They breath fire. Besides from giraffes, they're my favorite animal. Not man people know that about me. Actually, I don't think anyone knows that about me. 

"Oh, look, it's the brit! Why the fuck are you not in class!? Where is your hall pass!?" Cartman, the hall moneter yelled speaking into a walkie-talkie and unlatching a can of bear mace from his tacky leather belt. "Go zuck God'z dick fatazz." I glare at him taking another drag. 

"Sorry, but isn't your job to suck a dick brit? Huh? I don't tell you how to do your job, don't tell me how to do mine, now do you have a hall pass or not!?" He screamed pulling out the can of bear mace. A unprepared move on his part. Everyone knows the common pepper spray is much more effective on humans!

"No, I waz called into Mr.Macy'z office, now go home and ztay away from me for the rezt of both our livez!" I threw my cigarette into the ground and stomped on it to put it out, just to light up another one with much fuller flavors. 

He turned red with anger and blew loudly into a whistle. "WHERE IS YOUR HALL PASS!?! YOU WILL RESPECT MY ATHOURITY!!!" Cartman screamed at the top of his lungs. "You want a fucking hall pazz!?"

I pulled out my weapon of choice, my shovel and threw it so it would hit between his feet and wedge itself into a grove in the floor making it stick. "THERE'Z YOUR FUCKING HALL PAZZ!!" I could hit a fish in between the eyes if I wanted to. 

Cartman's knee buckled and he shook in fear. Good. He dropped the can of bear mace and ran away screeching like a banchie on drugs. He can dish it out but he can't take it in. A major flaw that can and will be used against him. Don't worry, I have a list of weaknesses on everybody so when the apocolips comes I'm prepared to take. Everyone. Down.

I griped and walked over to get my shovel. It's more practical than one might think. Being a mercenary, I can get payed a whole lot of money to get better weapons, supize, gear, etc. but I would never replace this shovel. Never. 

This day just keeps getting worse and worse doesn't it? First I have to explain what a giraffe sounds like to my new recutes, but I get stuck with Gregory and fatass! Only a few things could make this day any worse, and all four of them involve Gregory. Fucking sucks.

"Ztupid peciez of zhit. I can't fucking take thiz crappy town any longer." I mutter pulling my weapon out of the floor and strapping it back onto the belt I fashioned into a sash and pushing the tile back down that had been forced up by my shovel with my foot. 

"HEY BRIT!!" Fuck, Cartman came back. "GUESS WHO HATES GAURD DOGS!!" He screamed and I heard the most spine shivering noise anyone could ever imagine.

Barking.

"JE BAISE LES CHIENS HAINEUX!!"

Cartman laughed evilly. He held in his hands three leases holding back three angry dogs, a German Shepherd, a Rottweiler, and my least favorite, a Dobermann. Each dog was large and had clearly been trained to attack. Were these dogs fucking high!? "But you know gay wad?" he asked a sly grin tracing his lips. "I'll give you a ten second head start."

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!" I scream running down the hallway not even bothering to pull out my weapon. I know from experience that I can't take gaurd dogs on my own!

"Je déteste ça, je déteste ça, je déteste ça, je déteste ça, je déteste ça, je déteste ça, je déteste ça, JE DÉTESTE ÇA!!!"

I didn't turn back for the life of me and headed to higher ground. I can't out run them for one, but maybe I can get to a space where they can't reach! I quickly climbed on top of the lockers and lated for the dogs to come. 

|Eric's P.O.V.|

"What the fuck do you mean he wasn't there!?" I yell into a walkie-talkie making the other on the other side wince at the volume of my voice. "He wasn't there like we planned tehe!"

"THEN WHERE THE SHIT BALLS IS HE!?!" 

"I said I don't know, tehe! Perhaps he left?"

Ugh, I hate him sometimes! "I don't understand! We just need to stop the fighting, I'm the one true bitch in town who gets to be straight! But really, what the fuck is up with everybody!? Jew is gay, spaz is gay, Stan is gay, Kenny is gay, Butters is bi, Tucker mother fucker is gay, Clyde is gay, Token is... Token, I mean come on!" I ranted.

"Tehe!"

"Oh you bi-"

"Hey, I'm doing this for you, I didn't have to use my powers, tehe!" 

"Fine Cupid Me, but just make sure it ACCTULLY WORKS THIS TIME!!"

"No promises~!"