I'll Always Find You

downhill

first off, i'm sorry it's been so long. school and work is so stressful. anyways, i hope you enjoy.
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Third Person POV

the day it all went downhill.

it was a thursday afternoon, the boys were hanging out in benji's room. benji was reading through one of his comic books and jorge was reading along over his shoulder. "yanno, he's kind of pretty." jorge said over benji's shoulder, pointing to a boy super hero in the story. benji blushed. did jorge just call a boy pretty? "wait, you think boys are pretty?" benji looked back at jorge with his eyebrows furrowed. "well, yeah. girls are okay i guess but i think boys are prettier." benji's mouth was agape.

jorge is not straight. jorge is not straight. jorge is not straight. he didn't say anything except, "oh okay." and went back to reading his comic book. until he flipped the page to spot a villain he thought was attractive, "yeah, i think he's cute. girls don't really look pretty to me." he refused to look at jorge to see his reaction. jorge was blushing and his mouth was agape. benji is definitely not straight. he's not he's not he's not. his heart was dancing in the cage of his ribs. he felt flowers bloom in his stomach and butterflies swarm around the flowers. he got his answer. but he didn't say anything except, "oh, okay." but the way he said it, you could hear his smile.

jorge continued to look over benji's shoulder to finish reading the comic book together. they got to the last page and benji closed it. he slowly got up and put it on his book shelf with the rest of his comic books and sat back down on his bed with jorge. they both now knew they both weren't straight. now that they knew, what were they supposed to do? benji has seen a handful of movies about romance and he thought he knew what to do but at the same time, he had no idea. he was so young and so was jorge, can they do anything? is it allowed? do they even know these things about themselves for sure? are they 100% certain?

benji took a leap of faith. he looked at jorge in the eyes, putting his finger on his chin to turn and make jorge face him. he looked at his eyes, then he kissed him. jorge was scared, he squirmed and pulled away. "what the fuck benji?" he yanked the covers off of his legs and stormed out into his own room, closing his door and laying in his own bed. what a creep.

they're only 14 and 15 why would he do anything? why would he even try? jorge couldn't lie to himself it was nice. his first kiss was a wreck. he was angry at benji for assuming he wanted to kiss him. he did but benji shouldn't assume. plus they're both still so young. jorge wanted nothing to do with benji right now. benji just say in his bed, in shock of what just happened. his first kiss just stormed out on him. not to mention, it was a boy. for the split second that benji felt jorge's lips they were soft. so soft, like velvet or something. he thought that watching movies like that would help with how he was feeling, but now he might've just lost his best friend in the whole wide world. benji wanted to chase after them but he was so warm in bed, so he stayed there, thinking of what it meant to jorge, how jorge felt, if benji should really get up, and why did benji assume that jorge wanted a kiss from him? he thought maybe he was expressing his feelings for benji, letting him know, giving him hints or something.

while all of that was true, he assumed and didn't ask. jorge ignored him the rest of the day. he stayed in his room, which had a connected bathroom, so he didn't have to leave at all.

~timeskip to two months later~

it's been two months and jorge still hasn't talked to benji. benji hasn't talked to jorge either. they went their separate ways but they still longed for eachother. they both thought, "if he wanted to talk to me he would. if he wanted it to happen we would still be talking right now." to themselves but never said anything. they wanted to other to apologise first or to talk first. it never happened. it hasn't happened for the past two months.

jorge didn't know what to do but he didn't mention the situation to syd because he knew syd would tell him to talk to benji, so when syd asked how things were going between them he said they were fine. talking about it with syd made jorge miss benji even more but he couldn't talk to him, he wouldn't talk to him. benji has to talk to him first, apologise for assuming.

but it never happened. when they had group therapy with the youth, benji and jorge say on opposite sides, jorge sat with syd and laughed it up with him. they were best friends. benji saw that and assumed jorge had made a new best friend and replaced benji so he didn't even bother trying to talk to him. jorge was happy, or so it seemed. he cried at night, thinking about benji, hoping that in the middle of his crying fit that benji would walk through the door and apologise, but it never happened. jorge spent a lot of his time daydreaming about benji and hanging out with him again. benji did the same.

the difference between jorge and benji is that benji had no one to talk to anymore. he had no online friends, no friends in group, and no friends from school to text. they all withered away or something. he spent his time watching movies and reading his comic books. he was alone all over again, like before. he missed jorge so much, but he wanted jorge to talk first. he didn't want to force anything else on him that he didn't want. what if he didn't want to be friends with benji anymore or even talk to him? benji didn't wanna force friendship on him. he felt awful. it was all his fault.

~timeskip two years~

the ignoring went on for months on end. neither of them acknowledged eachother. it felt like forever. benji had gotten used to the feeling of being alone by now. he had almost forgotten about jorge, until he realised his birthday was next week.

it rose his hopes, maybe getting older and more mature would ease the tension they had. i mean after all, he did miss out on his birthday last year, maybe jorge turning 16 would open his eyes to what happened almost two years ago. or maybe not. all the bad thoughts stopped when he heard a knock at his door. "benji i..."

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sorry for the cliffhanger i'll write another chapter today, maybe two. to make up for lost time. sorry for so many timeskips, i really didn't feel comfortable with making them admit their feelings at such a young age. plus, the storyline got boring when jorge and benji started ignoring eachother. i promise it'll get more interesting. be patient ✌🏻😚
monday
9/1/19
5:40pm