Stay Down

6

watching the brown dirt fly in the wind around my mother's grave, i started to get angry like the day she died angry.

pulling out my gun , i turned to all the niggas behind me.

rubbing the cold metal against my forehead to calm my nerves.

there was fifteen of them some of them younger or older but they all worked for me and i ain't just put on anybody.

"somebody gotta die." pacing back and forth, i tapped the metal against my mouth. i laughed , dryly, to myself.

"we ain't see nothing boss." carter explained, stepping up to me. i lifted my head from the top of the gun as to tell that nigga to stay back, he moved back.  "we got a text from a disposable phone saying come hea and we seen her grave dug up."

"yea" kain agreed, he was the biggest nigga outta all of us almost seven feet tall with strength that could smash a brick. "i mean the only person who would-"

he stopped mid-sentence as king looked at him.

"fuck you getting quite for , say it!" i already knew what he was gonna say, i just wanted to hear it come out his mouth.

"robin." noah blurted, "he said you was forgetting where you came from and that he was gonna remind ya."

robin had put me on to the game. him and my pops grew up together but the nigga had no respect and it showed.

"remind me of what ?"

he was silent for a while before making eye contact with me.  "that you wasn't special." he said, "that you was just any other nigga, like the rest of us."

"honor, jax." the walked up to me waiting for instructions. "burry my mother back and put
lllie's ."

they was ha favorite.

i walked through the graveyard as the rest of them followed me.

i felt like niggas was fucking with my psyche like they thought i still wasn't the same nigga.  i made an abrupt stop, turned and shot noah in the leg.

"shit !" he screamed. 

all of them just watched me.

i smiled walking over to king, handing him the gun.

robin wasn't only my pops old friend but he was kings dad.

he face fell in realization.

"it's a lot shit making me question you." i told him shooting noah in the head, his body falling limp against the ground. "you claim you down, right?"

"yea man but i cant shoot my pops-"

i only stood back sizing this nigga, "thats good cause ion want you to shoot the nigga." snatching the gun from him.

they all  broke out in awkward laughter.

"i knew this nigga was fuckin' with us."

laughing with them, i suddenly stopped and so did they as my face fell serious.

"ion want you to shoot 'em man." placing a heavy hand on his shoulder. "I want you to kill 'em."

i looked around me.

"why you niggas ain't laughing. haha." I mocked, pacing in front of 'em. "what the fuck is funny?" i hit carter with the back of the gun. "i wanna laugh too guys, keep it going." 

everyone was silent.

i didn't give a fuck if it was his grandma when i say buss at a nigga that's exactly what the fuck i meant.

no and, ifs, or buts about it.

i walked up to king, so i was towering over him.

"you down, right."

his eyes burned into mine. slowly nodding his head.

i pushed the gun in his hands. "then stay down."

circumstance shouldn't change ya loyalty. these niggas didn't run behind me because i was a soft nigga.

they knew what i was capable of and they knew what they had to be capable of.

i got in my car, driving back to campus. smoking a blunt to clear my mind. parking my car, i went inside the building to sit in the library.

"hard day ?" she smiled, sliding in the chair next to me. i ain't say nothing. "you do know smoking causes cancers and it kills brain cells." she told me raising her eyebrow.

"please tell me more."

she only chuckled shaking her head, "it's my job to inform."

"what are you some kind of teachers assistant?"

"no." she placed her book down which was the bible. "just a church girl."

"that would explain the no cussing. not the clothes though or the tattoos."

"im suppose to look a certain way ?"

i tapped the table. most of 'em wore long as skirts below the knees and turtlenecks with a wooden necklace of a cross against they chest. "kinda."

"that's why you never judge a book by its cover."

"yea." taking another drag of my blunt. "you judge them mothefuckers by the-"

she rolled her eyes, getting up to leave, grabbing her wrist, i stopped her. "my bad shawty."

"no."

"what ?"

"don't call me that."

"why not?"

she titled her head to the side, her signature bandanna on top of her head. "because you call a lot of girls that, i told you come at me correctly-"

"because your a lady." i finished.

we talked the whole night about basketball. God, the bible, meditation, political views, everything.

we walked out the library around three a.m, laughing. "so this is goodnight?" wanting her to come to my room for the night.

she nodded getting where i was hinting at, "it's definitely goodnight, blessing."

"ight. you want me to drive you back to-"

"im staying at a friends."

we stood there awkwardly just waiting.

i took her hand and raised it to my lips.

"goodnight kapree."

she tried to hide her smile. "goodnight blessing."

she walked down the sidewalk, turning back to look at me. "and blessing?"

i stood there with my hands in my pocket, giving her my attention.

"i don't think your just like any other guy."