Stay Down

7

"okay and your gonna lean all the way up." she sat on my back, pushing me forward.

"ouch" i hissed, "im done with this shit-."  i stood sitting on my bed. "stuff." i corrected.

she laughed, folding up the mats. "you just have to get used it, it just means your body is tight. it helps you relax."

"i got other extra curricular activities that help me relax."

she sat next to me, putting in a movie. "im sure." she laughed, her upper body against the wall. "but those are only temporary good feelings, you need something you can do and not rely on other people to get."

"i don't need other people to get 'em." i told her leaning against the headboard.

"weed? you do and sex-"

i raised my right hand.

she scrunched up her face in disgust which caused me to laugh. "that's disgusting."

sucking my teeth, i watched her watch me. "you telling me you never did it?"

"nope, never."

i was staring to question was she even human.

"look" she explained, "if i had sex with you right now-"

"id be very happy." i smirked.

she rolled her eyes, "it would mean nothing. id just be number thirty on the list."

"thirty ?" questioning her assumption, "way more then that." i joked. "but i get it have standards and shit- stuff."

grabbing her notebook, she laid down beside me, reading me scriptures. i watched her lips move as she spoke so passionately about her beliefs and how she was so certain about everything.

don't get me wrong i believed in God, it was just i couldn't help but question some things and what he could be, what he looked like.

"ima use the restroom." she got out of bed, "i want you to tell me what you learned today before i leave."

this was routine for the three weeks she'd come over.

we'd meditate, me more so copying her, do some yoga and she'd read me scriptures and ask me questions about what she read to make sure i was paying attention.

flipping through her notebook, i spotted my name.

God please watch over blessing
i know you can see his heart and
im asking you to forgive him for
any sins he may have committed.
show him that he is more then just his circumstance, for he was made in the image of your son so he has all the tools to be a
man of God.
thank you, amen

she was praying for me.

smiling, i thought how my mom use to make me go to church with her every sunday and read a verse.

the memories were kinda fuzzy now but in my mind i could see her big, proud, smile when id do it, when she got sick she asked me to stay in the church but i couldn't sit there every sunnday and pretend i wasn't sining every other day of the week.

she reminded me so much of her though.

"okay." she clapped ha hands, "im back let's get to it."

quickly, i closed the notebook. as she laid back down opening to another scripture. "where'd me leave off." she mumbled to herself.

"Matthews." she smiled up at me.

"good to see your paying attention."

"whateva." I smiled back as my phone rang.

"what up?" i asked king, rising from the bed.

"man we 'bout to hit a lick on the niggas who helped dig ya mama shit up." i looked up at kapree to see her staring at me.

"everything okay?" she asked softly.

"yea." i walked into the bathroom. "tonight ain't good besides did you handle robin, like i told ya to ?"

he sighed on the otha end,  "that's the problem. i murked ma pops now his niggas angry but kain dropped they address so we heading ova thea, nigga let's go."

loud thunder crackled against the sky and like a flash her warm arms wrapped around my torso.

rubbing her back, i calmed her down. "it's okay." i told her kissing her forehead.

"nigga, what's okay? is you ready to go?"

picking her up with one hand around ha waist. i walked back in the room, laying her down on the bed.

i wrapped my arms around ha waist , laying next to her, her head on my chest.

"nah."

"nah nigga, what you mean nah?"

"save it fa anotha' day." her eyes started to close. "im busy."

"whateva man we going to get these niggas now."

"we got a game tomorrow nigga."

"so, look i'll call you lata' bout what go down."

"alright, nigga safety."

he laughed, "always nigga."

i hung up, turning my phone off.

kapree's light snores filled the room.

i wasn't tired so sleep wasn't a option.

my eyes landed on my dresser.

i glanced at the Bible then back to her then at the Bible again. my hand reached for it before i pulled away.

"nah."