Stay With Me

chapter eleven

Eva

I start to get even more nervous when he doesn't speak for a minute.

"I'm sorry, I just am having a hard time finding the heartbeat."

My heart literally sank into my feet. I know for sure I'm pregnant, I took more than one test, and I've been showing like there's no way I'm not.

He then leans closer to the screen and his eyebrows raise. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

He then removes the small conductor away from my stomach and sets it on a metal stand.

He stands up straight and looks back a jack before turning towards me fully, yep I'm definitely going to puke.

"Eva, I- I regret to inform you but it appears to be you've had a miscarriage. I see the fetus however the ultrasound didn't pick up a heart beat."

I'm absolutely speechless. Like what am I supposed say? My baby is dead.

"What?! I think you should keep looking" Jack injected his anger into the air and the Doctor looks at him with worry.

"Mr. Gilinsky, I've encountered this very situation a lot of times throughout my career, I assure you there's no heart beat, Im so sorry."

"How?" His voice breaks?

"Well from what I've picked up, the baby just wasn't growing properly, it's heart wasn't formed correctly and it didn't get enough energy to keep growing it."

So it's my fault. I wasn't eating the right things, my stress, all of this is my fault.

I quickly leaned up and searched the room for a trashcan, luckily there was one next to the metal tray, I jumped up and rushed over to it.

I start throwing up everything the could've been in my stomach.

I felt a pair of hands hold my hair back, the tears were falling as I gaged out all of the stomach acid damn near.

The doctor handed me a napkin and I wiped my mouth, before standing up and looking down at the ground.

I don't know what I'm feeling, a little bit of embarrassment maybe? Hurt, most definitely and I feel so guilty.

- - -

I sit in my car alone. I drove away from the hospital and parked in a random spot and just shut off my car and sat there.

I was quiet, staring out at the passing cars. My heart felt so fucking heavy.

I keep replaying what happened in my head.

*flashback starts*

I walked out of the exam room and started quickly making me way to the exit.

Jack was chasing after me and I just wanted to be alone right now. "Eva!"

I got to the part of the hospital where the waiting room was and I see Tiana stand up with a confused look on her face.

"Jack what happened?"

All this anger and frustration came up my throat and I immediately stopped in my tracks and turned towards her.

"Exactly what you were hoping for. I really hope you and Jack live happily ever after. You won't have to worry about me or my baby anymore."

She looked shitty and she said, "what are you talking about? Did you find out the baby actually isn't jack's?"

I scuffed and I felt the tears well in my eyes but I tried to keep them there.

"There is no baby."

With that I ran out of the hospital and to my car.

*end of flashback*

Jack

I haven't spoken a word since we left the hospital. I'm just so shook, and my heart hurts for not only my baby but for Eva. No matter what has happened between me and Eva she was still my first love and I'll always love her.

I wouldn't wish this upon any woman, I could only imagine how she's feeling right now. And the worst part is she's alone.

I pull up to Tianas house and we sit in the parked car in silence.

"I knew she wasn't pregnant." I hear Tiana mutter.

I turn towards her with pure anger in my eyes.

"She fucking was pregnant! She had a miscarriage, god Tiana why are you being so hateful towards Eva!?"

She was startled by my outburst but she came back at me harder, "maybe because you fucking cheated on me with her! How would you feel if I got pregnant with my ex's child while were together?! I'm fucking jealous okay? I wanted to be the one to have your babies jack, not her. I want you to want me, not her."

Her voice became softer, which is making me heart ache more. I didn't really put how she probably felt into perspective.

"You know I want you, why do you think I'm with you and not her?"

"Because she left you. And I'm sorry but so am I."

She quickly opened the passenger door and jumped out, slamming her car door. A part of me wanted to get out and go after her, but the larger part of me wants to say fuck it and drive away. By drive away I mean drive away to Eva.

So that's what I did.