Before You Go

epilogue

Five months later...

Eliza

Dressed in a hospital gown, I sit on the edge of an uncomfortable mattress that's covered with transparent tissue paper, my bare legs dangling over the side. It's chilly in here, but that's probably because the window is open, allowing a fresh March breeze to come in. The doctor opened it for me because I was complaining about how hot it is in here. Now, it's too cold. But that's what the past eight months have been like for me. I'm either too hot or too cold. On the verge of being sick or having obscenely odd cravings.

A week before I was set to go to Colombia back in November, I began to experience violent morning sickness. At first, I thought it had been the flu. But then I realized I hadn't had my period for about three months. I should have realized this sooner, but I had been too busy grieving over Leon to care. 

A bag of kettle corn and one pregnancy test later, I discovered I was pregnant. The only problem being that I didn't know if the child belonged to Leon or James. And I didn't care to find out. If it belonged to James, well, that would have opened up a can of worms I didn't want to deal with. If it belonged to Leon...I don't know what I would have done. I simply knew it belonged to either of them. I was foolish for failing to use protection that day in the truck with James and that night with Leon, but I don't regret it.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was still healing, still trying to figure out my life. I knew that finding out the father of my child wouldn't be the best thing to do for me psychologically. So that's why I waited until I was sure I could handle the news.

That's why I'm here now, with one more month to go until my due date.

"Do you want me to close the window?" Tenille asks.

Kit, who also tagged along with today's appointment, rolls his eyes. "She was just complainin' about being too hot, Tenille. I doubt she wants the freakin' window to be closed now."

"Actually..." I drawl, shooting him a sympathetic smile.

He groans and glances at Tenille as he walks over to the window. "God forbid you ever get pregnant."

Tenille giggles. It's only been two months since they announced that they were seeing each other, but it seems as though they've been together much longer than that. I'm happy for Tenille and Kit. Though they are entirely different, they fit together perfectly. I hope that one day, they settle down together and create a family. 

After Kit has closed the window, the doctor steps in.

The three of us direct our attention to her, waiting for an answer as to who the father is. As Dr. White tells us to hold on a moment and organizes her paperwork, I begin to feel queasy. And I know it's not from my pregnancy. I'm scared to find out who the father is and what the gender of the baby is. I want to, but I'm terrified.

Out of habit, I rest my hand on my swollen stomach, feeling for any movement. It's something I tend to do when I'm nervous or uneasy.

And Tenille seems to notice because she comes and sits down beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "You know it's going to be okay, right?" she asks.