Before You Go

chapter thirty-five

Leon

The next morning, after I've eaten breakfast and suffered through more of Liz's family members kissing me on the cheek, I decide I need to leave. It's early in the morning, but people are already bustling around the house. If I don't, I won't be able to pull myself away from Liz. Or, worse, I'll get sucked into spending time with her crazy aunts.

Speaking of Liz... I've unintentionally forced her into a corner. She has to choose between James and I. I never meant for this to happen, but I didn't think she would still have feelings for me. Closure was the main reason I came here; to complete the healing process that's been haunting me for the past two years. Atonement for my mistakes. I never expected her to still love me. 

Liz having feelings for me changes everything. But it also changes nothing. I want to fight and prove I'm a better man than James, but I have to stay on the sidelines. Everyone else thinks they're here for a wedding. They're clueless as to what's going on behind the scenes. They don't know the internal battle Liz is facing. What I want doesn't matter. How I display my feelings doesn't matter. This is Liz's decision. All I can do is wait. 

Exiting the kitchen, I bump into someone. My thoughts are distracting me, though, so I don't realize who it is until he says something.

"Whoa," James says. He grabs my shoulder and steadies me. "Sorry, man. I didn't see you there."

"Don't worry about it," I reply. "The last couple days have been perplexing. We're all edgy at the moment. Wedding nerves, if you will."

Perplexing was the wrong word to use, but it's too late to take it back. It sounds like I'm implying something I don't want to tell James. He must think Liz and I did more than hike yesterday. I glance up into his icy gaze. Shit.

"Right," he drawls. He leans against the doorway, blocking any chance of me escaping. "How was the hike yesterday?"

"Great," I reply. I adjust the collar of my shirt. "Liz had a lot of fun. I think she needed a break."

"She needed a break? From what?"

I can tell it annoys James, and that pisses me off. He started this conversation. And it's clear he wants more information than what Liz gave him. But I'm not someone who will sell another person out; I will not tell him Liz is facing a conundrum. Keeping my face blank, I continue to play along. "The stress of your wedding, her parents—that kind of stuff. It was a well-deserved break."

James stares at me for several seconds, a calculating look on his face. "Why are you here, Leon? I understand you were friends with Liz. But what the hell, man? After two years of ghosting her, you show up to support her? That's not normal. Anyone with half a brain can figure that out."

I cross my arms and narrow my eyes. "I was nonexistent for two years because my mom died from pancreatic cancer. Have you ever lost someone you love? Do you know the toll it takes on your mental health? I kept secrets from Liz—secrets that I should have told her. I suffered from depression. I couldn't function. I made mistakes, James, and I'm here to rectify them. Excuse me for taking the wedding invitation as my cue to find closure and apologize. I needed to fix the damage before things changed."

James doesn't buy the truth. "Look," he snorts, "it's ridiculous to use sad stories on me. I will not fall for them. So, let's cut to the chase. Eliza is marrying me. She doesn't need someone like you to fuck things up. It's blatant you're still in love with her. But if you love her, you won't fuck up her day."

I want to kick his ass into the goddamn Pacific Ocean. Maybe even let an orca swallow him whole. That would entertain me.

I shake my head, grinning in disbelief. "Why are you so indifferent?"

"Why are you so daft? What were you aiming for when you showed up? We're getting married. Did you come here to ruin it for us?"

I shove past James. "I told you why I'm here. And it wasn't to deal with your bullshit drama."

James grabs my arm and pins me against the wall. He glowers at me, hatred fuelling his emotions. "Stay the hell away from my fiancée."

I snort, using his own indifference against him. If that's the game he wants to play, then I'll oblige. I shove him back. He stumbles, catching himself on the counter. "I don't control what Liz does. She may see and talk to whoever she wants. I'm not turning down my best friend and risking hurting her feelings because someone's ego is saturated with jealousy. Start handling yourself like a man, James."

"A friend doesn't leave someone behind for two years," he replies.

"Yeah," I grin, tugging the collar of my T-shirt. "They don't have sex with them, either. I guess I did that, too."

James's eyes widen and he stutters. His cheeks are a violent shade of red. For a moment, I relish in him not being able to speak. I relish in the fact he's shocked by my willing confession.

Feeling cocky, I tilt my head to the side. "Do you want details? Because I can remember that day like it was yesterday. We were seventeen—"

James pins me to the wall again, his fist gripping the collar of my shirt. He's got some core strength, I'll give him that, but I could escape from his grip. I could bring him to his knees. I decide against it. Although I don't consider myself a villain, it's fun to be viewed as one.

"I swear to God," he seethes, "if you've done anything to Eliza..."

"Jesus Christ!" I snap. I shove him away, taking pleasure in watching him stumble. "I'm her friend, James. Grow the fuck up! I would never take advantage of her or try to manipulate her decisions. Nor would I storm out of here because she stood up for herself. Every woman may do that!"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" he snarls.

I'm about ready to clock him over the head. God, he's stupid. "You didn't support Liz when her parents were being assholes. You left her alone for hours, James. That's not what a—"

"THAT IS ENOUGH!"

James and I look towards the living room. Tenille is standing there, fuming. She storms over and shoves us apart. "People are here," she hisses. Her nails dig into both mine and James's shoulders. I cringe. James's face twists with pain. "They're going to wonder why the groom and the bride's best friend are arguing. They're going to get the wrong idea. Second, Eliza is upstairs, and she's heard everything that just happened. So, I suggest you both shut the hell up before I boot you off the property. Got it?"

James shoots me one more glare before he turns around. "Whatever. I need to get to work. Monitor him, Tenille. I don't trust him."

"James," Tenille warns.

"Whatever," he mumbles. He leaves without another word, the door slamming behind him.

Tenille turns to me. "What the hell was that, Leon?"

"What was what?" I cross my arms. "Because I did nothing wrong. James pounced on me." I stare after James, disgusted. "He's an asshole. Liz deserves someone better."

"Like you?" Tenille challenges.

I bite my lip and run a hand through my hair. Wanting Liz to choose me is selfish, but I can't help it. I love her. "Whatever, Ten. I'm sorry we fought. It was immature. I'll get out of here. I don't want to cause problems. More problems."

She rests a hand on my shoulder. "Leon."

I shrug her off and continue for the front door. Tenille wants to talk again. I'm sure it'll be a rational topic, one that dictates between what's right and what's wrong, but I don't want to take part. We all have the same goal. We want Liz to be happy. Whatever Tenille wants to discuss will comprise thoughts I've already had.

I'm not happy with what's just happened. James is a controlling jerk, and I fear for Liz's happiness. However, there is one thing I'm happy about. 

What I said to James—I don't regret telling him that Liz and I slept together when we were seventeen.