Before You Go

chapter thirty-six

Eliza

I wanted to spend today thinking about my Leon-James problem, but my parents occupied me. They're doing a damn good job of making sure I can't get anything done. Earlier this morning, Mom came barrelling into my room and demanded we go on a hike. I declined it because I had to work. I was also wondering where the hell she wanted to go hiking. Mom's always been a city girl—she hates the outdoors and would rather go to the spa.

I met up with her after work. I thought we were going to be hiking around Lost Lake or driving over to Squamish to explore the waterfalls, but I was wrong. It bummed me out. When I was a kid, Mom would drive me to Squamish to look at the waterfalls from afar. I've always wanted to explore them; hike to the tops and see the view from a different angle. I still haven't gotten around to it, but it's on my bucket list.

Rather than going to Lost Lake or Squamish, we ended up in the Village, "hiking" around the cobblestone path. We did some shopping, too. It wasn't the best way to spend a hot, sunny day, but I sucked it up.

When we got home, Dad was waiting for me. He's always enjoyed the outdoors more than Mom has, so we asked Sarah if we could borrow two horses and go horseback riding. We ended up riding around the perimeter of the property. Dad had a tough time, as he's only ridden a horse twice in his life, but I have to give him props for trying—even if I knew he was only trying to one-up Mom. It's something they've been doing since the divorce. Whenever one parent does something magnificent, the other parent always feels the need to outdo them. It can get ridiculous to where I'm ready to shove both of them off of a cliff, but they are still my parents. As much as I hate putting up with their antics, I still love them.

Now, it's dinner time. It's just me, my parents, and James. Tomorrow is when James's parents arrive, so my parents wanted one more night with us. Our parents get along, but they do have different views on some things. Still, I wish more people were here. Tenille and her parents went to the Village for dinner. Several of my aunts and uncles have left Whistler to visit places like Squamish and Garibaldi, while others have made a quick trip across the border to Bellingham for cheap booze and clothes. Before Aunty Christina, my mom's sister, left, I slapped two twenty-dollar bills in her hand and told her to sneak me a bottle of tequila across the border. Nothing's better than a slushy margarita on a hot summer day.

It's best I don't know where Leon is. I'm having a hard time sorting through my feelings. It's best I avoid Leon until I can rein them in a little more. I don't know what it is about him, but he always dulls my senses and makes my thoughts drift to him whenever he's around. I shouldn't be thinking about Leon when I'm supposed to be marrying James. But I feel something for both men. That's something I can credit with validity as I leaf through memories and feelings I share with each of them. I know I have to decide. For now, though, I'll focus on dinner.

Tonight, our dinner consists of steak, baked potatoes, Caesar salad, and roasted vegetables. In between bites, there have been several conversations, none of which I have paid attention to. Aside from being pulled in different directions, I'm also distracted by James's shitty attitude. James has been acting weird since he got home from work. He's a time-bomb; an explosion waiting to happen. I don't know what happened. I slept in this morning, so the incident must've occurred then.