Before You Go

chapter twenty-eight

Eliza

December 31st, 2009, Whistler, BC

"Why did we even come to this party?" Leon shouts over the pounding music.

"For the experience," I shout back. I search the heavy crowd for Tenille and Talbot. Earlier, I got a text from Tenille saying they were already here and that they'd meet up with us when we arrived. Leon and I have been here for twenty minutes and we still haven't found them. I continue to tug Leon through the crowd. "Where the heck are they?"

"Probably sucking each other's faces off in the bathroom," Leon snorts.

I wrinkle my nose. "Ew. Why would you say that? I'd rather not picture my friends making out." However, as soon as I speak those words, my mind reverts back to the first kiss Leon and I shared. I cough and tug him forward, unable to ignore how warm his hand is in mine.

"Because it's true," he laughs. "Those two would go at it for hours if they wanted to."

I decide that it's time to change the subject. Although Leon tends to attract people, he's never been much of a social butterfly; he'd rather stay home and watch a movie than be out at a high school party. "We won't stay long. We just have to find our friends and maybe have a drink or two. After that, we'll leave."

"Liz," Leon says. "We're only fifteen – it's illegal for us to drink."

I roll my eyes. "Come on. Live a little. One or two drinks aren't going to kill us."

Leon shakes his head. "You can have a drink, but I'm not. I promised Mom I wouldn't. Besides, I've tried alcohol before and I'm not a very big fan of it."

I smile, thankful that he can't see my face at the moment. This is the reason I love Leon – more than a friend, I might add. I've been pining over him for a while now, but I'm too scared to ask him out. I'm scared that our relationship will share the same fate at my parents' relationship did and I'll end up losing my best friend in the end. And that's the last thing I want. Leon not being in my life would be terrible. He's got such a great relationship with his family. He's always reliable and sweet and kind and funny – he always manages to make me laugh, even when I'm at my worst. He's the one who urges me to be brave and strong. And when he's holding my hand, I feel safe and content. Losing him would be like losing the sun.

But, despite not wanting to risk losing him, I can't help but wonder what we'd be like as a couple or what it would be like to cross that line with him. I briefly glance over my shoulder, wondering if he feels the same way. He makes so many comments that cause me to think he also has feelings for me, but it's also so hard to avoid the doubt or question the fact that I may be overthinking. I could be a fool for thinking he wants more than a friendship with me.

"Seriously, though, Liz," he adds. "Can we go soon? I really hate parties."

I stop walking and turn around to face him. Someone bumps into me, spilling their drink down the front of my shirt, but I'm too engrossed by Leon's gaze to care about the cold, sticky liquid that's soaking through my shirt and bra. "You didn't have to come," I say softly.