Enemies or friends?

9. Can't breath

Bucky's point of view

Somewhere during the movie Steve fell asleep on my shouder. Some minutes later, Stark was out, too. I asked Jarvis to turn the TV of, since I couldn't move without waking up Steve. For the next twenty minutes I was sitting there, listening to the sound of their breathing, then started to doze of myself. 

In the middle of the night, something woke me up. I heard a sound and immediately became alert. I looked around the room and after my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw Tony turning around in his sleep, murmuring something I couldn't hear. 

Suddenly he half jumped, half fell of the bed, then stumbled around the room, until he was next to window. He janked it open and pushed his head out, gasping for air with his hand on his chest. I gently moved Steve, who was leaning against me and luckily he didn't woke up, then walked over to Tony. He was still strugling to breath properly. 

˝Hey, it's okay˝. I put my arm around his shoulders. ˝Just breath˝.

˝Can't,˝ he gasped. I hugged him closer, rocking him gently back and forth. 

˝Sshh, you'll be okay. Just breath, in and out˝. He started to relax. I moved him away from the window, then closed it. I picked still shaking men up and carried him to bed. I set him down, then sat next to him pulling him in my lap, hugging him. It looked like that helped, because he stoped shaking.

˝I feel like an idiot,˝ he whispered. 

˝Why?˝ I asked. 

˝Because since the battle in New York, I have been having those nightmares. I should already be over it, but every time I dream or think about it, I start to panick˝. He stopped and started to move away from me. ˝Why am I even telling you this? I don't even know you˝. 

I knew what he was dealing with. As A Winter soldier I did a lot of bad things and sometimes I got random flashbacks of them that send me into this kind of panic.  I spoke up. ˝It was happening to me to. It still does sometimes. I dream about falling of that train and about getting my arm cut of. Sometimes I dream about people I killed as a Winter soldier and I had to watch me killing them and then they kill me in the same way. It's a normal reaction to a traumatic event. There is nothing wrong with you˝. He froze and looked me in the eyes, then droped his gaze.

 ˝But I am Iron man. People look up to me. I am their role model. I need to be strong for them.˝

I shook my head. ˝Tony, being a hero doesn't mean you need to be invincible. It means doing the right thing no matter how scary it my seem. It means getting hurt and still doing it again. You think that people hate to see you weak, Tony, but actually, seing heroes acting like a ordinary people help them realise that we are just like them. It shows them that they can be heroes too, even if they aren't perfect˝. 

He nodded, they shyly looked at me. ˝Can I stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone˝. 

I laughed. ˝Actually, since the war, sharing a room with others calms me down. If I hear somebody snorring, I at least know that I am not alone. Lay down, I'll bring you a blanket˝. I stood up, took two spare blankets and a pillow out of Steve's closet, then returned to bed. I lay down next to Steve, wrapping myself in one blanket, while handing the other and a pillow to Tony. He made himself comfortable and slowly drifted to sleep, me following his lead soon after.