Safe Haven ~Carl Grimes Love Story~

~9~ Hurt

I laid on my back on the bottom of the bunk bed that night. I was really disappointed Carl told me to forget what happened. Actually, it's stupid because I can't forget what happened. He might be able to forget.

....but not me.

I feel a tear slip down my cheek and I quickly swiped it away. I knew I shouldn't have liked him in the first place. That night where my eyes landed on his for the first time, I felt a hint of safety. The next time I saw him was when I called his eyes 'beautiful', and right that moment, I swore he thinks I'm awkward. The next I made an even dumber move, so dumb that I won't even mention what I said. The time we spent watching Judith, and the time we spent just earlier on the watch tower. These all were the times I wanted to relive before the day I disappear.

But he said to forget what happened. To forget. How can I forget when that moment made my heart race, it made my stomach hatch butterflies, it made my mind go crazy, it made my palms sweat, and it was the only time I felt all these. So many of these feelings only point to one fact,

..I'm in love.

I'm in love even if he hasn't kissed me yet, or held my hand while we walked, or kept me safe in his arms while we sleep under the moonlight, or even if he hasn't said he loves me. He has no idea how he makes me feel, and it hurts me that my feelings probably don't matter to him. Anyways, now he has Olivia, so why should he care?

Olivia. So perfect. She's probably the same age as I but she's better with people. She's good with Rick, Carl and probably the rest of the group. She just isn't good with me. She has no interest in me, so why should she bother?

"Nathalia?" I hear a soft whisper and I sit up. I stared at the white curtain that covered the cell, and saw a shadow standing.

"W-who is it?" I ask shakily.

"Beth"

"Oh, come in" I whisper and she puts aside the curtain, slipping in my cell.

"Is anything the matter?" I ask her. She looks at me sadly.

"What is it?" I ask.

She didn't answer, but she just stood there and fiddled with her fingers. She shifted her weight from one foot to another, not looking at my face but at the ground.

"Beth come on, what is it?" I ask again.

"Olivia kissed Carl"

I look at her and look down. I feel this really tight and painful feeling in the center of my heart. I knew it. They already had each other the the second they met I bet.

"And?" I ask whispering.

"He kissed back"

I nod gently. Feeling the tears form a bit in my eyes. They're probably kissing again now, or holding hands, or sleeping safely in each other's arms... or told each other that they loved each other. I still see Beth in my cell and I look up at her, wiping my tears away.

"Why are you still here?" I ask.

"Because I know you need a friend" She says softly before kneeling beside me and hugging me. I accepted her little act of kindness and hugged back. It's so shameful how Carl can do this to me, make me like this. I cried a little on her shoulder and she didn't mind. I needed more people like Beth. She was someone everyone would want to have in their lives.

"I know it hurts" She says softly and I nod.

"And I know that you're strong. You won't let a boy destroy you. Crying over a boy does not help you get back in track and see the things that makes you happy. So you stop hurting, because I'll be here for you, okay?" She whispers wiping my tears away.