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| saturday february 19 10:32 AM |
i sigh as i walk into the kitchen, earning a concerned glance from my mom. "what's up sweetie?" she asks as she continues to wipe down the islands counter top. "nothing, just tired i guess" i half lie. i was tired but i'm mainly focused on what had happened last night with jack. after nate called him over, interrupting our perfect moment, he didn't bring it back up. he was probably to drunk last night to even remember the things he told me. part of me is glad he might not because i never really got the chance to tell him how i feel... i actually don't know how i feel. i do know i like him a lot, but i don't know if it's love yet. i don't even know what love is or how it's supposed to feel. it's just something i read about and see in movies hoping to have everything they have one day.
"okay, well adam went out to get donuts... then jake went off to his moms for the rest of the week." she explains, shaking her head at the last part. "i wish she'd give him more space you know? he never gets to spend more than three days with adam. it's sad actually." she complains. i agree with her if i'm being honest. jake barely is with adam. the house sometimes is a little too quiet with out him being here, despite it only being barely two weeks in our new house.
"she'll come around eventually" i shrug, hoping it's true. i actually enjoy spending time and hanging out with jake. he reminds me of all of my friends, he acts just like them. i can't wait for the day that they're all over here and jake is able to meet all of them at one time instead of separately. yeah, it will be a lot to handle but i think he'd like them.
"mom" i speak up after a small silence fell between us. she looks up from the counter and over at me with raised eyebrows, waiting for me to go on with my question. "when did you know you loved dad... like what made you realize." i ask making a warm smile appear on her face. it was the smile she always gave dad. "i remember the exact day actually" she laughs to herself. "we were hanging out with our friends.. all of us together and he just gave me this look with that smile he always gave me everytime he'd look at me and i just felt like i needed to make him smile for the rest of his life." she starts out.
"i wanted him to be happy all the time, no matter what it took. the feeling actually made me blush when i first felt it... i never felt anything like it before him. so time goes on, i didn't say anything until around december, 1999. we had this kiss and it was like the room just fell away, we were the only thing the the room that was still standing... it was beautiful." she smiles making me smile just hearing it. love sounded amazing. the love that my parents shared was perfect. i want nothing but the love they had.
i start to think about how i feel about jack. how he makes me feel when he smiles like my mom had said about dad. she wanted nothing but to make him smile everyday. seeing jack smile is like some sort of break from reality, it's like if you see it you know everything is going to be okay. it just warms you from the inside, out. same goes for his laugh.. oh his laugh. i could listen to it all day, even if it's just a small one. it wouldn't matter because it's his laugh. it makes you feel care free and in the moment. i loved the feeling. when i'm with him it's meant to be. it's like from the first time we made eye contact at that party, every moment with him has been everything and more. it's been something that's filled part of me and i honestly love it.
i love him. a smile forms on my face just from the thought of me admitting it to myself. knowing he feels the same make my insides turn to mush and my heart skip more than one beat.
"what made you ask?" she asks curiously.i stay quiet for a second, still holding my smile on my face and look down at the counter. "i just was trying to figure out some things..." i shrug, not knowing what else to say. i sigh and shake my head. "do you think it's too soon to.. to be in love with jack?" i ask nervously. she smiles warmly and shakes her head. "love hits everyone at different times. wether it's one month in or even three years... it's not a feeling you can control, it just happens. so if you feel like you love jack then don't hold back honey... tell him. you never know, he might just feel the same way." she tells me making me feel like for once in my life i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be.
just a short filler chapter!
i hope u liked it!
keep up the votes and comments, i love reading them!
