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| saturday may 6 3:59 PM |
"congratulations sweetie" my mom smile proudly as she looks over me in my cap and gown. "thanks mom" i smile back, i sounded completely distracted. hell i was completely distracted. cindy was at least fifteen feet away from me celebrating this moment we've both been waiting for with her family and friends. we should be celebrating it together. we could have been if i didn't do what i did. oh how i wish i didn't do what i did. i have a feeling i fucked up more this time than i have with anything else in our relationship.
"jack, i want you to know that i'm so proud of you. you're going to do amazing things." my mom goes on. i smile at her again, this time being more serious. her words meant a lot to me... especially right now. "thank you." i tell her, embracing her in a tight hug. "look at you... all grown up." she smiles, you could tell she was holding back tears and it made me shake my head. "don't cry." i tell her with a small laugh to lighten up the mood. "i know i promised but i just can't believe it. it's all gone by so fast and on top of that, you're leaving for your music career tomorrow." she smile proudly as she looks up at me. "i am so proud of you and all you've done" she adds. i smile again. her words were bringing my mood up, they were encouraging and it's what i needed at the moment.
"where's cindy? i need a picture of you two." she gasps making my chest start to sting some at the thought of it. "um" i say lowly with a small laugh. i haven't told them. i haven't had the chance to actually. i didn't even tell johnson, i left almost right after she did. "what?" she asks me, reaching into her purse to grab her phone. she looks up at me and i put on a fake smile. "um. she's right over there" i point lowly over to her, not wanting to bring the subject up to my mom. "well, what are you waiting for honey? come on." she smiles, walking in her direction. i stay for a second and watch as cindy laughs with her mom, jake and adam. she looked happy, like she was enjoying the moment. i'm most likely going to ruin it but i can't tell my mom about what happened right now... there's no doubt everyone over there knows.
i start to catch up to my mom right before she reaches cindy. "maybe we should just let them have some family time" i suggest. "jack, they won't mind. it's you and i'm sure they need a pic of you two as well." she shakes her head. i sigh and give her a nod, not wanting to make her suspect something is up by trying to stall any further.
"jack!" veronica smiles widely as she looks over ands sees me headed her way. "congratulations! how do you feel?" she asks me, giving me a small hug. i hug back and make brief eye contacts with cindy causing the tension between us to become more awkward and unwanted than before. "free" i laugh slightly as we break the hug. "let me get a picture of you! i'm so proud of you. i was just about to ask cindy where you were." she tells me, stepping back as she holds her camera up. "smile!" she tells me. i give her a smile and she snaps the picture.
