Intertwined

Chapter 14: Matt Dillon

Anastasia'a P.o.V.-

Lucas and I had become really close within the last few days we had gone to school together. We were alike and different at the same time which oddly made us click. He had told me many stories of his childhood without his mom, who he said was stationed in Iraq somewhere with the Military. I didn't know everything about him which made me somewhat intrigued by him. He was mysterious, and I just couldn't quite figure him out. I think that is what caused me to grow very fond of him. I didn't want to ever let him go. His friendship and humor is what started to fuel my happiness. That is until I got the news on Monday. It was Matt. My Matt.
Present day: (The Monday of the 2nd week of taking Lucas to school)

I woke up this morning to my cellphone dinging. It was a text message from an unknown number. I automatically became paranoid; I hardly ever get messages. I unlocked my phone and read the message:

"Hey An, it's me Matt. I just wanted to let you know, that I am coming home. And I want to see you baby."

Turns out I was right to be paranoid, because my worst nightmare was coming true. I sat there in my bed for twenty minutes trying to find the will to get up and get ready. I thought about how Lucas would be waiting at the end of his road for me any minute. And that thought gave me the push to get ready and go to school. I had to speed to Lucas's house since I was running late. When I got close to him I seen the look of relief on his face.

"For a second there you had me thinking you werent coming." he says waiting for an explaination.

"Sorry." I mumble.

All I want is for him to hold me and make me feel safe, just like that night at the gas station. But for some reason my body wont allow it. As bad as I want to tell him all my deep dark secrets my mouth wont move.

"An, are you okay?" he asks with a frown.

This is all too much. I cant take it.

"Could you just cut the act. We aren't friends so stop acting like we are. I am only being nice to you for the sake of not having to deal with your attitude in the morning!" I say way too harshly.

I notice the hurt on his face but it soon disappears and turns into something I have never seen on Lucas's face. Anger.

"Oh really. Then I dont need you to drive me anywhere. Matter of fact I dont need your friendship. You aren't nothing but a spoiled bitch who doesn't know shit about real pain." he says coldly.

I cant believe what my ears just heard. I am on the verge of a mental breakdown so I do the only thing I can do. I kick him out the car and leave him cursing under his breath on the side of the road. He slams my door and I drive off. I pull over at the closest place I can and burst into tears. I am so tired of fucking up everything that makes me happy. I cry for another couple of minutes. I go to crank the car and all of a sudden I feel as if I cant breathe. This car, Matt, Lucas, my family. It all it hits me at once. I start to panic and I do the only thing I can do. I shakily pull out my phone and call Maye. She is the only person who could possibly understand. I dial her number and listen to it ring trying to calm myself. When the last dial tone rings and she doesnt answer my panic rises. I realize I have no one. I am all alone.

An hour passes, then another. I sit on the pavement out side of my car, tears still streaming down my face one after the other. Matt. My first love. My first reason for ever wanting to not be alive. I get back in my car and head to school in desperate need of a distraction. I arrive just in time for Biology, my favorite class. I stop by the bathroom and make sure it isn't so obvious that I have been crying. I look awful as always but it wasnt that noticable, so I head to class. I am shocked when I notice Lucas isn't here. I decide to text him and make sure he didnt get kidnapped or something. I sneak my phone under the desk and go to text Lucas. What am I even supposed to say to him, I ask myself. So I cut my phon off and put it back in my bag. I then put my head down and cry some more silently.