Intertwined

Chapter 24: "He's back."

Anastasia's P.o.V.-

All I can do is drink. I drink until I lose count of what I am drinking. Then I go to my parents mini fridge and get to working on the miniture bottles of rum. As I grab the second bottle I hear a loud cough. I turn my head to see Lucas standing by the kitchen door with his eyebrow raised. I try to slip the bottle behind my back so he doesn't see it.

"Lucas I didnt see you there." I hiccup and smile.

Lucas gets right to the point of drinking, which I was hoping he wouldnt notice. Which how couldnt he, I can barely stand right now.

"How many of those have you had An?" He asks pointing to my hand, which still lingers behind my back.

I try to playfully look at him but my face just comes off as idiotic. My head is starting to spin, and I am totally regretting that last bottle of rum.

"Seriously, Ana." He says.

No. This is the first time I have heard those words from someone other than Matt and my mom. I can never tell my mom not to say it because then I would have to make up some reason. But Lucas, will not call me that. Ever.

"Do NOT call me Ana." I say slurring like a drunken sailor.

The room goes quite for a split second and it feels like it is just me and Lucas there. But that's probably just the alcohol in my veins.

"Okay....why's that?" Lucas says obviously startled by my change of tone.

"Just don't. Okay?" I say.

The room is really spinning.

"Okay. You dont need to drink anymore of those, I dont want you getting hurt." he says.

"Why do you even care?" I ask.

I no longer feel bubbly, and warm, I now feel like a weak, unwanted, vulnerable child. I want to cry out for eveything to stop but I cant because I have run out of stength. I stumbble over to Lucas needing him to hold me but I cant allow him to get caught up into this mess. Matt will kill him and I cant have that happen. I try to go out the door but Lucas moves in front of me, preventing me from leaving.

"I need to get out of here." I plead with him.

"Well you cant." he says.

My mind begins to spin, and conspiricies begin to swirl through my thoughts. I barf, just barely missing Lucas's shoes. Everyone in the party then looks over at me, vomiting gracefully all over my mothers hardwood floors. Lucas pulls my hair back and waits for me to finish throwing up, before picking me up in his arms and carrying me up to my room, where I black out. I wake up alone in my bed with an empty feeling in my chest. I get up and walk to my bathroom and grab a glass and fill it to the rim with water. Downstairs is completely silent, and I lack the energy to go check it out. So I go outside on my balcony for fresh air. My cheeks eventually become drenched with tears. I have to let what ever Lucas and I have go. Whether it was more than friendship or just friendship I cant allow him to get hurt. It would break my heart, more than when Shawn died. Shawn died a month after Matt was sent to juvy. He was driving home and supposedly ran off the rode into a river. Shawn had been apart of our friend group since elementary school, and eventually freshmen year he revealed his crush on Maye and they got together. I always seen him as my brother and Maye my sister, so it didn't bother me that they were together. They actually seemed much happier and that made me happy. But that night, wasnt an accident. I got a text from Matt earlier in the evening that had sent chills throughout my body. The text read:

"Babe, I am going to show you what happens when you double cross me. Tell Maye that she has my greatest condolences. Wink wink. Xoxo- M"

I knew it was from Matt even though the number was untraceable. I showed it to Maye and she told me not to worry about it, that Matt's sorry ass couldn't possibly hurt us from thousands of miles away. Boy, was she wrong. Minutes later we got the call that Shawn had died. Maye's face was the worst thing I have ever witnessed. The agony and pain of her scream as I held her in my armswas unbearable. We sobbed together until officers came to get our statements. After that night Maye barely spoke to me, and when she did it was short and unpleasent. She had blamed me. Me. For Shawn's death. Because I brung Matt into our lives. It was fucked up.

I hear a noise from behind me and find Lucas walking onto the back porch. I thought he had left after seeing the show I put on for our guests, but apparently not. Which I shouldve known better, it was nice guy Lucas.

"An, you should rest." he says, now standing next to my chair.

"I cant." I manage to say.

"He's back." I say trying to hold it together still.

"An, it will be okay, I am here. I can protect you now." He says with confidence.

"No. I dont need protection." I say, which is a big lie.

"Seems like you do An." he says smartly.

I start to cry, he is so sweet and I am so messed up. We sit there for a couple of minutes as I cry. I stay silent as Lucas begins to tell me what its been like without his mom. It grabs my attention and my tears subside.

"You know, when I was little I didnt have anyone to pack my lunch for school, or teach me to ride a bike. I did it all by myself, and I am thankful for that. I became a indepently strong person. Or so I think." He chuckles.

"What about your dad?" I ask.

His face turns from smiley to rageful in the second I mentioned his dad.

"Well, he is an alcoholic piece of shit." he says truthfully.

He is finally opening up to me.

"Look An, I lied to you. My mom doesn't work in the military. Matter of fact I dont know what she works as. But I was hoping maybe you would take me to find her." he says with hope.

I have to find a way to push him away. So I do what I do best, find every fault and use it.

"You lied to me." I say betrayed.

"I really just stretched the truth. I was embarassed about it." He says.

It hurts me at how open he is being to me, and how I am shutting it down one by one.

"You still lied, and I told you things I dont just tell anyone. I dont like liars, Lucas."  I say.

"It wont happen again." He rambles nervously.

He takes a card out of his pocket. It has a address circled on it.

"This is where my mom lives." he says handing me the card.

"I cant." I say.

When he still rambles about how he hopes she can explain herself, I feel my heart getting impatient and frustrated. I force myself up and toss the address over the railing. My heart breaks when I see the look on Lucas's face. At first he looks  like he is going to cry but then he becomes pissed.

"I said I cant!" I force myself to say as tears stream down my face.

Lucas then shockingly stands and grabs my shoulders and tip of my chin hard.

"What the fuck is wrong with you." He yells into my face while shaking me.

He slings me back into the chair and walks off the balcony, swiftly exiting my room. And most likely my life. So I cry for I have hurt the boy I love, and for he has hurt me with his violence. I crawl into my bed and seep into the pain of living.