I Started the Apocalypse Because My Car Broke Down

I Started the Apocalypse Because My Car Broke Down Chapter 1

Angel; “A spiritual being attendant upon God”- Google.

I remember sitting in religion tapping my foot on the leg of my friends chair as I chewed the end of my pen, Anne stared at her book with menacing blue eyes as she doodled the result of a loss in hangman. I’m pretty sure that when the teacher came over and looked at her book to check if her work was finished he didn’t realise the drawing of the hanged man was actually of Jesus dangling over a pit of lions with piranha eating his groin. You (as the reader) might have already guessed this but if not let me inform you; I wasn’t particularly religious at the time, in fact, I admit that the only thing I liked about religion was the pretty angels that were always described.

It was on this exact same day that I didn’t remember to refuel my p-plate car (translation-bomb) and on the highway my car broke down.

I do remember meeting him though; seemingly the most beautiful man in the world, with gorgeous blue eyes and a body that would make Michelangelo squeal like a little girl…or at least like my best guy friend Danny (hence; girl). Unfortunately though, I do remember swearing at this said ‘Adonis’ and accidently chucking a wrench at his face. Long story short; that is how I started the apocalypse…God damn it.

He wasn't even doing anything wrong, he just caught me at totally the wrong time, I mean, I'm not one for the whole "damsel in distress" kind-of thing, so I took out my mechanical frustrations on his face.

I was crying in frustration when I heard a car pull in behind mine. I rolled my eyes in preparation for the innevitable conversation that loomed over me, I could practically already theorise what was going to happen; fat and balding, middle-aged man: "Miss do you need any assistance?"

Me: "No thanks, I'm fine"

Fatty Mcfat Fat: "Are you sure?" -saying it as he leans over to grope my ass-

Me: -Getting out a wrench and bashing his head in, then spending 2 hours disposing of all evidence-

I sighed heavily as I retrieved my wrench from the toolbox below my front passenger seat, and as I suspected; "Miss do you need any assistance?".

"Funny" I thought, that doesn't sound like the voice of a fat and balding middle-aged man. "No thanks, I'm fine". I heard feet scuff along on the road toward me.

"Are you su-" the scuff missed a pace and a firm hand gripped my butt. I screamed as I swivelled and pushed him away. With my eyes half closed I squinted and chucked my wrench without a second thought.

As I opened my eyes to observe the point of impact I caught a glimpse of the extremely attractive man for whom I had blindly aimed for. "Ah crap" I cursed myself and my luck with attractive members of the opposite sex.

"Sor-" THWACK!

The shining sex bomb flinched as the wrench came into contact with his face and fell to the ground with a clank. He said nothing; his purely gorgeous face twisting into irritation.

"Why did you just throw that at my face?" his voice seemed intereley genuine.

"Oh! It's not what you think! I thought you were an old man!"

"You would throw a metal tool at the face of an unsuspecting old man?"

"No-" I began to lie but he raised his eyebrow; "yes". I fiddled with my hands; feeling like a child after it's been told off by an imposing teacher or parent.

"I see, I misjudged you" He turned his face to leave. Suprisingly, there was no mark. "Oh God!" I cursed myself; "He was going to give me his number! I missed out, yea well, screw him anyway, I deserve better!"