Despite the fact that Nathaniel has employed his best efforts in an attempt to make my life hell over the past 16 hours, we've managed to reach Wangaratta with our limbs in tact... Though I'm pretty sure that Nathaniel was seperated from one of his testicles back in Albury.
It's simple really, he thought it was a wise decision to eat my packet of mint biscuits.
......Nobody f**** with my mint biscuits.
Did I apologize? No, no I did not. Though I do feel slightly bad for the fact that he needed an icepack on his groin for several hours, HOWEVER, I DID warn him...I permit myself to quote Percy when I say: fair is fair.
Stepping out of the passenger seat I stretch my arms and jump up and down on the spot cheerfully. Nathaniel, however, limps out of the driver's seat; a very unhappy expression plastered on his face.
"Oh, honestly Nathaniel, if looks could kill I'd be dead right now." I shoot him a cheeky smirk.
"Oh if only."
"Hey, angel boy! Wanna lose your other testicle?"
He responds by chucking his ice pack against a nearby wall; he stomps over, pinning me into the ground with his gaze. As an idea dawns on him a smile spreads across his face and he leans his head next to mine; whispering in my ear.
"Perhaps I could tell Annie and Percy, or even Ivy about your behaviour in the house. Shamelessly desperate as it was."
A blush creeps over my face, that stung more than I wanted it to. "Desperate? You noticed, if it was so shameful and desperate then why didn't you stop me?"
I step back; silent as my eyes lock onto my feet. I clench my fists and shove past him; running to Annie's car as it parks behind the hummer. She opens the door and immediately catches on to the situation.
"Lou, what's wrong?"
"H- he- he... said I was shameless and desperate!"...."taken a little bit out of context but oh well, he totally deserves it..."
Annie gasps and hugs me tightly; nearly suffocating me with her boobs.
Percy steps out of her car and points at Nathaniel, "you're a dead man! Prepare to suffer a woman's wrath!" She stops dead in her tracks and abruptly starts bawling her eyes out, Sven rushes to her side. "What's wrong my love?"
"HE CALLED ME FAT! AND HE FLASHED ME HIS P-P-PENIS!"
"Really? Nathaniel!" Sven cracks his knuckles and Zach interjects.
"No he didn't, calm down Sven. Percy is lying-" his sentence is interrupted at Sven punches him on the side of the jaw. Annie gasps; Percy stops her fake tears.
"Don't accuse my woman of lying."
Zach returns Sven's favour by kneeing him in the stomach; Ivy steps out of the car and clears her throat. Both males stop; fists up in mid air.
"Nathaniel offended Lou. Annie and Percy were geting revenge. This is common, if you two don't put your fists down then I'll personally burn your collar bones with the cigarette lighter from the hummer.
"She'll do it! The bitch is crazy!" Annie, Percy, Ivy and I all laugh; leaving the males completely at a loss.
Sven and Zach give each other a bro hug as us females tend to the cars. "Yes thankyou SO much for your chivalry guys.."
Nathaniel takes the pump from me posessively; and so begins the age-old 'tug of war' between the sexes. "I'm doing it, let go Nathaniel. You wouldn't even know what to DO with it!" I shove again.
YOU ARE READING
I Started the Apocalypse Because My Car Broke Down
HumorLou is a non-religious girl attending a Catholic High School, she has a p-plate car (shitbomb) and friends that she can talk to, it isn't until she runs out of petrol on the highway that she encounters the gorgeous angel Nathaniel after chucking a w...
