In My Head | ls

5

"falling, falling, needing somethin' to believe in"
——

Louis walked home from school everyday. Even though his mother can afford a car he insisted on walking. He liked the cold wind tickle his naked arms and the freshness of the cool air whenever he took a deep breath. Since they lived in a small town there weren't many cars to go by so he got to hear the wind run through the tree's leaves and the whistles the wind whispered in his ears.

Today was different though because instead of looking at the nature around him he was looking at his phone screen. He was texting Harry. They exchanged numbers over a Facebook message room and have been at it all day. They talked about random things like what kind of bagels they prefer or the difference between jelly and jam- they were love sickened already but neither of them knew it yet.

Louis still had butterflies in his stomach when he thought about the party that was happening tonight. He tried to think about so many excuses not to go but he couldn't stop thinking about the 'what if's' and the fact that Harry would be there and even picking him up. He shook his head at the thought and turned off his phone, putting it in his back pocket.

Get out of your shell a little, Lou

Louis bit his lip at the repeating quote from Niall in his head. The Irish man wasn't wrong, he really did need to get out of his shell but he just couldn't. See, Louis has always suffered from awful anxiety issues; they limit him from almost everything. He would love to go out with his friends and the boy he has a crush on but the never ending worry clouds his mind and racing heartbeat finds its way to creep into his head and knock him off balance. That's why he retreats to his safe home, nothing bad could happen to him there. He didn't really mind though, being alone brought him peace; he had no one telling him what to do or where they wanted to go, it was just himself doing his own thing.

Niall criticized him for this, not that Louis took it to heart too much since he knew Niall would never understand. The blonde was an outgoing angel and wasn't afraid of judgement. Louis never understood how someone could be so free and uncaring about the amount of eyes he allowed to look at him.

His phone buzzed and he reached for it. It was a text from Harry asking what time he should pick him up. Louis sighed, he hadn't even told Niall he was going. Maybe it was for the best, better to show up and show all his friends he can be a big boy and go to a high school party without them having to guide him in. Louis bit his lip and smiled at that; suddenly gaining the confidence and texted Harry to pick him up around nine.
———-

Louis groaned, trying desperately to pull up his skinny jeans. He slouched and sighed when he couldn't get them past his ridiculous and fat hips and too feminine butt. His mom heard his struggle and knocked softly at his door, "Lou, honey? is everything okay in there?" she said through the crack in his door. Louis whimpered, on the verge of a mental breakdown because this was the third outfit he's tried on in the past thirty minutes and nothing has looked good on him. "yea mom..i uh i'm okay" Jay frowned, knowing the tone of his voice was the complete opposite than okay. She opened the door to see Louis on the edge of the bed with his jeans pulled up to his thighs, they looked too tight and she giggled, she couldn't help it. "mom" Louis whined "stop making fun of me!" Jay snorted "i'm not love, did you try and do your laundry again?" Louis sighed and dropped his head, groaning because he understood why the jeans were so tight, he shrunk them.

Jay chuckled and went to his closet to help him look for something to wear. "so what's the occasion?" she looked over her shoulder at him, seeing him smile at his phone which made her ponder. "um" he said still looking at his phone but then at her, putting the device down, "it's a party..?" Jay continued to look through his closet, moving hung up shirts to the side "what kind of party?" Louis fumbled with his fingers, he knew his mom wasn't going to pissed but he still always worried. "its a school party? i think? i'm not really sure what they're really called" Jay hummed and continued to look through the clothes, a shirt caught her eye, "a um a boy is taking me too.." this caught Jay's attention. She smiled and turned to him, placing the shirt against his chest over the other he already had on to see how it looked with his jeans. "is he a nice boy?" she asked, "yes very much, a gentleman. I think you'll like him" Jay smiled and placed another shirt on the bed next to him. It was a navy blue shirt with a intricate white pattern that traveled from the waste to his shoulder, his grandmother gave him that shirt. "well I hope he is, make sure he treats you like the king you are" she chuckled and patted his cheek. "call me if you need me tonight, my phone will be at my side at all times" she kissed his cheek and walked out of his room, closing the door on her way out.