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My mind was wondering to dark corners. Making up stories about the men who had been in her bed because I wasn't man enough to be there myself. It was causing anger to bubble up through me. I did this. I left. I was a coward. Showing up at her house today was stupid. Borderline stalkerish really, but I couldn't help myself. I needed to hear her voice. The voice that sounded like wind chimes on a slightly windy day. Soft and ever so pleasant. Even though each word that left her lips was coated with anger it still sounded beautiful. It still made me feel something. I hadn't felt anything like this in years.
"You're an idiot!" EZ snapped me out of my thoughts. "You can't just show up at her door and say I'm sorry and think she'll accept that." He downed his beer. "You left. You didn't even try to explain yourself you had others do it."
"I would shut up if I were you or I'll bring up the shit show of your breakup with Emily!" I warned my younger brother. "Ophelia and I we weren't going to work. She wasn't going to see that herself."
"So you make her plan a wedding. Dangle that in her face and walk away only to show up what ten years later?"
"My life's full of regrets you should know something about that," I growled pushing myself away from the table. We were happy once. Completely inthralled with one another, but I didn't live a life she belonged in. I knew she would forever argue that wasn't my choice. That she wasn't afraid of what our future held. That if her and I were together we could face anything, but love doesn't stop a bullet. Love can't always be enough. "She deserved an apology."
"She also deserves an explanation and you're the only person who can give her that because no one else even knows why." Ez sighed.
"She threatened to shoot me she wasn't in the mood for an explanation." I retort.
"Do you blame her?"
"No. I blame myself." — "Are you planning on dressing me in vomit green to get back at me for all the years I tagged along with you and your friends? I know I was annoying but can you torture me in a different way Liv?" I chuckled as I pawed through one of the many bridesmaids racks. They were all made mostly of tule and would make anyone look at least ten pounds heavier then they already are. What kind of monster would do this to there friends.
"I was thinking maroon?" Liv laughed. "Or maybe dusty rose. Something form fitting that hangs off the shoulder?" She pulled out a dress and handed it to me for my opinion. It was nothing spectacular, but I didn't mind it was her day not mine. "I should warn you Kevin invited him."
"I figured he might. They are relatives after all," I shrugged it off going back to the dresses. I didn't want to think of Angel more then I currently was. This was bringing back sour memories of Liv and I wedding dress shopping for me. When she asked me to be her maid of honour I hesitated. It wasn't that I didn't want to. It was the fact that even attending a wedding had been hard the past few years. I didn't want to be out helping my sister and have a breakdown ruining what is supposed to be a happy time in her life. "We live in the same town now Liv. Running into him was inevitable."
"I know but," she stopped in front of me her eyes furrowing. The flecks of Carmel in her eyes danced around the sea of chocolate brown as she searched for the right words to follow the but. I knew she didn't have them. Hell I didn't have them. I placed my hand on her cheek and shook my head.
"We move on with our lives because we have no other choice." I kissed her cheek brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "So there's no but's do you understand. I'm a big girl and he's just some dumb boy from my past."
"I've always hated how strong you are. I'm the older sister it should be the other way around," she complained.
"Olivia you're the one who taught me to be strong." I protested. "You've made me who I am Liv." I hugged my now overly emotional sister and then went back to dress shopping. It wasn't a lie without Liv I wouldn't have gotten out of my bed after Angel left. The first week I acted like nothing happened but all of a sudden it hit me like a bag of bricks. I stayed locked up in her spare bedroom crying myself to sleep for months. She encouraged the move. Encouraged the fresh start. So when she asked me to come back there was no way I could say no even if it meant I came face to face with Angel again. I was a different girl now. A girl who didn't need him, and that was the hardest pill I've ever had to swallow.
