The Final Home

Chapter 19 | Blackbird Society

I couldn't keep looking into those icy, blue eyes and lie to myself anymore.

My heart had hardened, had frozen the fragile feelings I'd been holding onto for so long until it was too late and we'd become like this. To love this beautiful person in front of me only meant pain. We were two different souls living in two different worlds, and it was finally clear to me. No, I'd finally accepted what I'd known since the beginning.

"I should have never met you."

A whisper.

The words slithered off of my tongue so smoothly, I almost didn't realize they'd come from my own mouth. But once they had been uttered, it dissolved the veil of lies between us. A bitter taste filled my mouth.

Don't... The new voice sounded kind of like my own, calling out to me faintly from deep inside.

"I shouldn't have loved you," I continued. "I wouldn't have fallen for you if I'd known it was going to end like this. You're the cruelest, most selfish woman I've ever met."

I felt strange, detached, like it was someone else saying these horrible things to her. I couldn't stop it, didn't know if I wanted to stop it. The voice kept whispering warnings, echoes resonating around the walls in my head.

"I... hate you."

It tasted like gravel in my mouth, cold, hard and dirty. The old me wouldn't have been able to keep Elsa's gaze while saying those words. Now, I never stopped looking, staring deep into her, past the ice and into the fiery flames of truth.

"I hate you." I repeated, keeping the blank expression on my face. My voice sounded dull in my ears.

"Jack..." Elsa bent her head down and stared at her lap. I could hear it in her voice, the breathy hint of relief. But then she looked up at me and blinked, eyelashes darkening with unshed tears.

Something stirred in my chest.

This girl wasn't being fair. How could she want to cry after pushing me away?

She was right. We couldn't even breathe the same air anymore.

My hand reached for my backpack, but I changed my mind and left it there on the bed. This was my new life now.

I got up, leaving scarlet wrinkles behind in the sheets. "Where's Corbin?" I managed, avoiding her gaze.

"Who?"

I paused. "Raven. Where is he?"

"Oh." She lifted her index, pointing out the door and into the dark, wooden hallway. "Down the hall and up the stairs. There's a big study on your right."

I turned for the door.

She sniffed.

I couldn't help it. My head swiveled on its own to look at her one last time. I immediately regretted looking back. Her shoulders looked smaller as she rested her face in her hands.

"Bye," I heard myself say softly, leaving the room with an uneasy heart.

~•~

The study was spacious, all dark wood and red. Fancy chestnut lamps were dimly lit against the walls. Two deep scarlet vases rested on stands underneath them. Gold stitches covered a red velvet settee standing off to the side with an ivy pattern similar to the ones decorating the outside gate. I almost forgot about my low mood.

Raven stood in the center of it all, behind his polished desk. He'd changed his outfit again, now sporting a modest, burgundy v-neck with the usual dog tags. His hair was damp again and combed neatly, suggesting he'd taken a quick shower while I was downstairs. Raven's back was turned to me as he stared outside a large window with ivy plants climbing around it.