𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒; 𝐉𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐋𝐄𝐑; 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃 ⚣ ⼺

eighteen;

tyler is back at church.

not by choice, but by parents. the brunette wraps his own arms around his middle subconsciously as the pastor drones on about more homophobia. the smaller flicks and pulls with the end his (josh's) grey hoodie sleeve, tracing over the divots in the fabric.

tyler continues to do this for most of the service, not being interested in what the pastor is saying as it's the same offensive things over again. the brunette suddenly freezes however when he hears,

"this is up for discussion, open mic as you wish. share your own opinions on homosexuality and ill try to answer some questions."

the first thing the small boy thinks is if they'll make him speak about this, but being a quiet kid, he doubts it. the second thing that comes to mind is, why does this man get to pick apart other people's opinions on a human being's sexuality, from just a book written by people who were influenced by what they believe to be god? the brunette huffs quietly which attracts unwanted attention from his father who gives him a stern look. tyler sink's back into the safety of josh's sweatshirt and cuddles in the warm feeling.

"why does god hate people because of something they can't control?" comes a small, timid voice after a couple seconds of silence.

the pastor shifts slightly, seeming unsure of how to answer but replies back,

"god didn't make anyone that way. as humans, we sin and it's just apart of us. however, people who are homosexual do choose to sin in that way and choose the path to hell. whether they come out of their homosexuality or not will depend on their afterlife with satan or jesus."

the voice doesn't respond back and the church service continues, that one question seeming to satisfy the pastor.

-

after the sunday service is over, tyler and his family go back to their house. as all joseph's enter the cozy home, each one disbands from the group and goes off in different directions.

tyler goes to his room and calls jenna, just wanting someone to talk to. the blonde picks up after the second time with,

"what's up, bub?"

"church again." the brunette responds with sadly.

jenna makes a noise, frowning to herself before saying,

"what happened this time?"

"kept taking 'bout bad gay." tyler mumbles softly. jenna nods to herself before realizing tyler cannot see her.

"well, you know the truth and if people don't like it, so what?"

tyler frowns as his eyes gloss over in tears. he shakes his head to himself, trying to explain what's on his mind to jenna.

"bu-but my mom, jen. wha' am i gonna tell 'hem?" the small boy says, tears slipping from his eyes.

"i'm coming over, ty and we'll talk about this. okay, bub?"

tyler nods to himself and jenna hears the slight movement, taking it as a nod and hanging up. the blonde grabs her phone and a dark green sweatshirt, then leaves for tyler's house across the street.

when jenna arrives, mrs. joseph answers the door, to which jenna kindly chats with. however, she's thankful when she's let inside and isn't pressured with tyler's mother's questions.

"hey, ty. it's jenna." the blonde says, knocking on the door lightly and opening the white wood.

the sight which she is presented with is tyler curled around a pillow, which is as big as his body is; almost like another person. his hair is fluffy and tousled, his cheeks flushed pink from crying.

jenna enters the room silently and sits on tyler's full bed, reaching her hand out for the smaller to hold onto. the blonde frowns to herself when tyler doesn't notice her or her hand, but starts to cry more.

"do you want josh?" jenna whispers quietly, just wanting him to feel better.

the subtle nod that tyler does is enough for jenna to grab the brunette's phone, dialing josh's phone number. when the punk doesn't pick up after several times trying, jenna furrows her eyebrows when he finally does and pauses when hearing a voice that isn't joshua's.

"stop fucking calling!" before hanging up abruptly.

jenna scoffs before setting tyler's phone down on his end table calmly. the brunette looks up curiously at the sound with glazed eyes and sobs more when jenna gives him a sympathetic look.

the blonde changes her position and lays down behind tyler, cuddling him for comfort since josh is missing in action. jenna thinks more as to who was answering josh's phone and why they were very rude about it. she brushes it off, however, just comforting the crying boy in her arms.

"you'll be okay, bub."

"joshie not comin'?" tyler asks, the sadness apparent in his eyes.

jenna doesn't want to break his heart, even more than it already is. so, the blonde says instead,

"he said he'll come over tomorrow, since he's busy with brendon somewhere and he can't leave."

tyler nods wordlessly as more tears spring from eyes, for reasons he doesn't understand. however, jenna just holds him tightly and thinks about how she's going to deal with josh.

-

needed some conflict y'know?

i'm so tired everyday after coming home from school. i also feel pretty much dead at school, like i'm not actually living until i get home. i sat at lunch almost crying multiple times just wishing my breath would be cut off.

that's daunting lmao.

i'm alright when i get home, i just really dislike school.

anyway, finally feeling this story again now that i have an idea of what it will be.

please eat, even if it's something small like every hour. or every other hour, just something and small steps, yeah? drink at least a bottle of water and sleep tonight at least eight hours. please, i beg of you to keep that dream alive that you're hoping for in the future. you've got this and you know it.

and if you don't have a future to look forward to, make one. who do you want to marry, where do you ultimately want to live? occupation? cmon, you can do it(:

( i dislike my english teacher to a great extent. )

bye!

-𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙧 ✰