Welcome to my cruel life :')

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[TRIGGER WARNING]

As usual, everyday I come home plug my headphones in and go to sleep, listening to his voice oh his sweet voice, I would burst into tears sometimes wishing I could just hold him and tell him he is my only reason for still existing but, as if it'd ever happen to me
-- ❁
"MADI GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE NOW OR YOU'LL REGRET IT!"

I wish I had of heard that but sometimes I zone myself out so much that reality doesn't exist no more.

My door swung open rick's eyes were full of anger, he was breathing so heavily and his fists were clenched so hard that his knuckles were going white

I quickly shoved my phone and headphones under my pillow and prepared for what was gonna happen next

I saw it coming, but it still caught me off guard. I felt a balled fist make contact with my face, and before I could react I felt a sharp pain in my stomach that sent me clean off my bed and into my bedside table, I reached my arm to back of my head and felt blood ... a lot if it

"YOU THINK YOU CAN IGNORE ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT?!" He screamed in my face as his foot came in contact with my ribs, repeatedly

I let out a ear piercing scream but he soon slapped me across the face and told me to shut up.

I nodded sadly as tears streamed down my face, he walked out my door and slammed it shut "YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT" he yelled back

I just laid there holding my ribs thinking it would make it feel less painful but I was wrong, I knew something was broken but I couldn't do shit.

I got up and sat on the edge of my bed a held the picture frame of my mother in my hands

"Mum I miss you, and I know if you we're here you would hold me in your arms and tell me everything would be alright but your not, god I miss you so much... I'm sorry" I whispered through sobs, my mum died three years ago when I was 15 actually she committed suicide, rick never hurt me back then he did to my mother, she would always put me first with everything and one day she couldn't take it anymore I guess, so she crashed the car and killed herself.
of course rick blames me and says it's all my fault.

After mum died he took up a drinking and started abusing me, he was never like that though when I was younger I loved my dad, I cringe at calling him that now because he's turned into a monster

I moved the blade around in my fingers and placed it on my wrist and without thinking I sliced my skin once, twice a third time until my whole wrist was covered in blood, just a few more times won't matter right?

my head started stinging, I felt around and felt a huge gash and my jaw was killing I took some painkillers and made my way to the bathroom

I stood In front of the mirror cringing at my body, blood was dripping from my wrists but I didn't care, I sighed and stepped into the warm water letting it fall onto my body and running over my fresh cuts, it stung a bit but manly my body was numb and I just thought to myself if I stopped breathing one day, would anyone care?
-- ❁
I laid in bed and put on Vic's voice he was the only reason I was still alive, something about him made me want to stay alive even for a little while longer but I knew one day I would give up and he wouldn't of even knew i existed
-- ❁
I woke up early hoping to avoid my dad and get to school
Ugh, school, I hate it there
I raced into the bathroom and threw my hair up in a messy bun, did some light makeup before throwing on my pierce the veil hoodie and some casual black jeans
I went downstairs and grabbed a bottle of water before rushing out the door

Tons of people filling up the halls, kissing, gossiping, laughing, bullying you know the usual
I scanned around until my eyes stopped on my best friend, Brooklyn

She immediately smiled and ran over to me
"Hey!" She chirped, hugging me
I pulled back, she accidentally hit my ribs and it hurt like a bitch
"Ouch!" I winced
"What?" She looked at me confused
I sighed "I'll tell you in class"
-- ❁

*END OF THE DAY*
Walking out to the car park and I heard dani's voice
"DONT FORGET THE PIERCE THE VEIL TICKETS!"
I looked over at her and nodded before smiling to myself, I can't wait!

I wish I never went home, rick was in a bad mood
I walked through the doors and he immediately started, throwing me into the wall
"WHERE WERE YOU THIS MORNING?!" He screamed in my face
"A-at school..." I whimpered
He kicked me in the ribs and it was the worst pain especially since they were already killing me
"Since when do you care about school?" He scoffed at me, taking another beer out of the fridge
I swallowed hard, grabbed my ribs and slowly stood up
"You need to stop drinking" i clenched my teeth
"What?" He spat
"Stop...uh-stop drinking" I held back tears from the pain on my ribs
He slapped me hard across the face
"I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WAN'T!" growling he pushed me towards the ground
I scrambled to my feet and ran to my room, I'm so sick of this, why do I get treated like this? I don't deserve it...

The blade, cutting, blood seeping out of my wrists, it was all I was thinking about and of course I gave in
Feeling relieved I cleaned my self up and laid down on my bed, letting my music block everything out, a few tears escaped my eyes, manly because of the overwhelming feeling of disgust, I hated myself so much, everything about myself I hated and the way I let people trample all over me like I was nothing, i'm so sick of everything, i'm just sick of life, I let the last of my tears fall before wiping them away and slowly closing my eyes
-- ❁
Welcome to my cruel life
-- ❁
HEYY, DON'T KNOW IF I'll GET ANY VIEWS OR ANYTHING BUT IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLEASE COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK, THANKS xx

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