I went home as quick as I could. All I wanted was to be home in my bed, but things weren’t going as I wanted them to lately. And of course this wasn’t going to go flawless as well. I still felt so dizzy, even though I did eat. I just needed to sit down and I would as soon as I got home, that’s what I told myself. I saw the familiar house through all the trees, as I lived beside a park. Gosh there were so many memories in this park.
I ran through the park with both of my parents walking behind me, probably laughing because of my happiness. As my mom always told me: ‘If you’re happy, then I am too.’ We were still with the three of us, just me, my mom and my dad, I was always so happy. We would go to this park often. In autumn I would love it the most. I would walk through all the leaves, falling a few times, but that didn’t matter.
I was happy.
We were happy.
I mostly grew up as an only child, which was nice. But I must admit when my parents told me I was going to get a little brother I was so exited. Well at first.. because when he was born, he almost got all the attention all of the time. My mom always tried to make sure I wouldn’t feel like that, but I couldn’t help it. Right now, I am very thankful I’m not an only child. I at least still have someone now. Thinking about my mom still made me feel some sort of emptiness. I don’t think I will ever get over that.I felt tears welling up in my eyes.I started to walk a little faster. Didn’t really want to cry right now. When I finally reached our house, well not for long anymore, I felt relieved. I went in as quick as I could and walked into the living room where I saw Tom watching TV.
‘Hi..’
It barely came out of my mouth, but his face shot up immediately. I threw my keys on the table and was about to take my shoes off when I felt someone hugging me.
‘Don’t ever do that again, Mary.. I was scared.’ He whispered.
‘I won’t Tom, I promise.’ I whispered back. And I wasn’t going to. We still stood there hugging. He was getting way too tall. I was only 5 ft 4 and he almost passed me. For the first time in these days, I felt a small smile creep up on my face. Not a fake one. A real smile.
‘You’re getting way too tall.’ I told him. He just looked up and smiled. Also the first time I saw him smile. It felt good seeing him smile. We had our arguments, yes, those typical brother-sister arguments over nothing. After all, I still loved him and I don’t know what I would do without him.
Tom went back to the TV and I started reading some book to get my mind off of things. Unfortunately for me, that didn’t work. I couldn’t stay focused on the book for longer than a minute. My thoughts kept going back to my dad. And the house, we couldn’t stay here. How bad I wanted to, we couldn’t. We would have to find a new place to live. With that thought on my mind, I grabbed my laptop. Searching around for a nearby apartment, which was also affordable. With my job at the café I didn’t really have a lot to spend. But then again, it didn't have to be big or luxurious. Just a small place where we could live with just the two of us. I sent some emails, made some calls and appointments to view the few places I had seen online. Next week I was going to view them. I just hope I can find something soon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A couple of days later and the funeral would be today. I had to do a lot, but my aunt helped me. And I was very thankful for that. Apart from my aunt and Tom, I didn’t really have any family. My father didn’t have a lot of friends so we would keep it small. I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to do this. Even though I knew I had to. It would be hard, that was sure.
During the ceremony I almost cried my eyes out. Over the last couple of days I tried to stay strong for Tom, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Everything that was bottled up came out now. If it was a good thing? I don’t know. It certainly felt good to let it all out. I would’ve broken down sooner or later. Tom as well cried a lot. When it was over we went home again. I couldn’t stand being there right now, and decided to walk around the park for a bit.
‘Tom!’ I yelled. He went straight upstairs to his room after we got home. ‘I’m going for a walk around the park.’ I added.
And with that I went out, grabbing my keys on the way, not waiting for his reply. As I walked through the familiar park, processing everything that happened today, I felt tears welling up in my eyes again. I didn’t want to cry again, but I just couldn’t help it. It was all a bit too much right now. My life was a mess. I went to sit at a bench, the one where you can see the water from. This was surely my favorite place in the city. I grabbed my head in my hands and before I knew it, tears were flowing out again. I just sat there silently crying, receiving a few stares from people, but right now, I couldn’t care less. After a few moments I tried to stand up again, but immediately sat back again. The feeling of dizziness hitting me in a sudden.
‘’ Hi..’ I heard from beside me
When I looked up I saw the person who I was least expecting. him.
