So you've decided to dive in head first on your journey to positive thinking, great... but now what? This book will heighten your awareness to the limitless possibilities and opportunities you have at your fingertips to living your true authentic li...
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Many of us are left with a sense of purpose when we are able to use our talents or skills to motivate others. When we can leave an impact on the world our self esteem gets a boost, our motivation increases, but how come we find ourselves in times of sadness when we feel more like a burden than a leader? How can we fix this problem that many of us face on a daily basis? Criticism is a necessary part of life and can be used to our advantage but how do we handle and know when we are being overly criticized? I bring this topic up because self-esteem has a lot to do with whether or not we can not only inspire ourselves but other people as well. First and foremost, deciphering healthy criticism from unhealthy criticism. Here are some common differences between these two types of criticism.
UNHEALTHY CRITICISM:
1) unhealthy criticism includes slander, cussing, bouts of anger, and personal attacks. Usually involving harsh words and over exaggerated recreations of events
2) in order to understand unhealthy criticism get to know the person who you are receiving that criticism from. Is that persons opinion important to you? How do they handle stress? This could tell you a lot about a person and give you hint as to how to deal with such people who simply will never be appeased.
3) The person who is giving you the criticism is never pleased or looking for faults and never giving praise where it is deserved. HEALTHY CRITICISM:
1) healthy criticism includes bringing up topics for addressing in a respectable and professional manner.
2) Healthy criticism includes reciprocity. The person who is giving the criticism tried his or her best to live by the practice they preach. They lead by example instead of simply being quick to judgement.
3) healthy criticism includes understanding the other persons viewpoint and situational needs. In order to give or receive healthy criticism there must be understanding from both parties.
These are just the few ways to decipher healthy and unhealthy criticism. If you find yourself in a position where you are under constant scrutiny follow this one rule as best you can. This was something my father always asked me when I was feeling down, "if you couldn't hear would what that person said have bothered you?". The answer is no. It's a simple saying but has a profound effect on my life. I have found myself as an only child very cumbersome in regards to pleasing everyone (especially family) in my life. I got easily hurt by words and criticism that was spoken out of stress and anger, not because of me. So I am no stranger to unhealthy criticism but I am glad I have learned and am still learning to take healthy criticism and use it to my advantage. If someone will never be pleased by you, block out their words as if you never heard them and forgive them because people say dumb shit when under stress. Be understanding of them as well and know that forgiving that person does not make what they said acceptable but it give you the peace of mind that they don't have.
So how does this impact how you make an impact in this world? If you don't love yourself then how do you expect others to do so as well? Lead by example and try everyday to not let other people's hurtful actions disturb your self confidence. So how do you inspire people?
1) Convey enthusiasm and passion in life Even in the nastiest of times try your hardest to think of the small victories that have gone right.
2) Help others pursue their goals I can bet any money that you have been faced with some one who "advice" that doesn't align with your goals but instead aligns with their own. We have all dealt with that but in order to inspire others we must practice non-judgement and support others on THEIR journey to success even if it isn't what we would necessarily do.
3) Make them feel worthy of success Instead of being quick to judge someone, make it a priority to give people encouragement. Whether it be to family, friends, or a complete stranger, if they are doing a good job let them know! Sometimes a little bit of hope can go a long way.
4) Inspire others by being vulnerable Many of us get swept away by immaculate Instagram pages and social media, but that is not reality. Do you really think someone would show their weaknesses? Absolutely not. To me that's not beauty and it's probably the farthest thing from perfection. What is true beauty is our ability to not only be vulnerable to ourselves but with others. Let them know that they are not alone. Everyone has bad times and by no means will life go according to plan. Let people who are struggling know that mistakes happen and that they can get through it just like you did.
5) Inspire others with your integrity Lead by example. Actions speak volumes compared to words. A person can talk a big game but at the end of the day they are probably unhappier than you are. If you want to inspire you must practice what you preach and then your credibility will be earned, not faked.
6) Be an active listener You can't hear others if you yourself are talking. So in your everyday conversations make it a habit to listen more than you talk. Completely comprehend what the other person is saying and learn from what they are saying. We all have different experiences so it pays to listen and learn.
7) Stay true to who you are You cannot inspire people by being a duplicate of someone else. Going back to criticism and how it impacts our ability to inspire, we can't let what other people say change who we are. Your mold is different from the rest for a reason, don't be afraid to be who you are. Self confidence is the key.
8) Share from your own experience With everyone coming from different backgrounds, experiences, and life lessons sharing with others what life has taught you is not only rewarding to that person but to yourself as well. As we teach others we heighten our own abilities in that area as well.
9) Challenge people If someone has a goal or dream they wish to achieve, challenge them to go get it. Share ideas and spark so much interest in the other person that they couldn't view their life without that dream or goal in sight. Give them motivation and be there to give them insight on how you faced certain challenges and what to expect. Most importantly, give them hope. Nothing is possible without hope.
I hope this chapter can inspire some of you to go out in the world and not only inspire others but to motivate yourself to do good. Know that you've got this just keep your head held high!
