Commentary Cancer || memeulous x imallexx

Lucid Dreamer

It was silent in their apartment. It was getting dark quickly, but George couldn't sleep. He was too...distracted. Excited, almost. But he felt bad, too. He'd been ignoring Alex for a while now, even though he could hear the younger boy across the hall. George shook his head. He couldn't even meet eyes with him. He was confused, tired too. Yes that must be it, his lack of sleep. That's why he's feeling like this. George turned over in his bed, resting his can of coke on the small table beside him. He could hear Alex muttering again, though he couldn't make out what was being said. What was he doing? He was ignoring him just after Stephen had.. No, he didn't want to think about that. But he knew he had to do something. Even if Alex was as embarrassed as himself. He sighed, getting up and opening the door, staring for a moment at Alex's. He slid a foot into the hallway before pulling it back, getting back into his bed. They could talk in the morning. He'd probably prefer to talk then, too. George finally shut his eyes, slowly drifting off as he thought of Alex, and James of course.
Alex lay on his floor, staring hard at his ceiling. What was he doing with himself? Why didn't he say no to Stephen? And more importantly, why did he have to go near George? After he was so pleased to be planning for a date with James. He banged his head on the floor once more, before grudgingly getting up, and then back into the comfort of his bed, not bothering with changing. He was happy for George. Yet he could only hope to be happy with himself. Why would George like him anyway? He was the ugliest guy around, and probably the most awkward too. He sighed, then groaned, turning under the covers over and over again. He knew he had to get some sleep. And he wouldn't even have to deal with George for a few days. He could record his videos, stay in his room, anything really. And George would be too preoccupied anyway... Alex squeezed his eyes shut, breathing slowly, before he lost control of everything, slipping away into a darkness littered with sore nightmares and an occasional dream accidentally dropping into the mix, and a mysterious figure always lurking close. Almost like a guardian. He chased Alex throughout this land, silent, undisrupting. He didn't care to hide, just out of distance to be recognised by Alex as he spiralled through tunnels and drops of slight terror, maybe even a splinter of hope, before being pulled away just as fast. Until he flew into the figure, using his leg to try to pull himself up, before slipping and expecting to fall far, but only landing next to his feet. The figure looked down at Alex, as the boy rubbed his sore eyes. Only to look into the soft brown eyes of his roommate for a moment, before his eyes clasped shut and he could feel himself being lifted. And he woke. George was looking down at him in the gentle light of the bedside lamp. "George? Wha-"
"You sounded, like, distressed of something. I came in to see you. Everything  OK?"
"George?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry." Alex leaned forward, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks as George wrapped his arm around him.
"I've been an irresponsible jerk. I let Stephen use me and..." He stopped between his sobs "I don't know what happened George. I've been feeling so ill all day, I don't know what's going on..."
George pulled him closer to him, wiping a tear from Alex's face. "Dude, you don't need to apologise. I've been feeling trash all day too. And I'm sorry aswell."
"W-what for?"
"I-I don't know. I just feel like I could've done more. I'm sorry for letting him in. And I'm sorry for being weird."
"Well, we can be weird together." Alex laughed off, as George smiled at him, slowly tearing his arm away from Alex. They held onto each other for a moment before George tugged his arm away, and his smile slipped.
"I should probably get some sleep... Date tomorrow, y'know?"
Alex had almost forgotten, he was too focused on the warm arms wrapped around him. "Oh, course. Night." He didn't mean to sound cold, but he couldn't really help it. George noticed something was up, and gingerly touched Alex's finger. "Night." He whispered softly, slowly releasing his touch. Alex watched him leave, collapsing back into the covers. He must sleep, at least then he couldn't feel this pain.
George climbed back into his own covers. He was worried for Alex - he had never acted like this before. Then again, he hadn't either. George sighed. He wanted to be happy, but he couldn't figure out why he wasn't. He had everything he wanted right now - a growing fan base, a dream boy interested in him - yet something felt...off. He shook his head, he must sleep. At least then he wouldn't feel this emptiness.