sage | a warrior cats fanfiction

chapter thirty seven

"What happened?"

It appeared that Pantherleap was unwilling to wait too long before they got away from camp, because as soon as they were a decent bit away from the cats around, he asked a question, soft and quiet.

"She wants me to be around her kits, to be their father, and I don't want that," he started, "I don't want... I don't want them."

"You have to do it," Pantherleap mewed softly in response, and Adderheart shook his head sharply as he continued around a rock. His eyes wandered absently as they continued through the territory.

"No, no, I know she'll find out. I need a solution, we need a solution, she'll find out or someone else will and then it'll be all over," the pale tom added, head shaking soon after. "Then Featherkit got away and I had to go out and get him, but then I couldn't pick him up and then Willowdapple—"

"You can't keep doing this, Adderheart," Pantherleap interrupted gently, pausing next to a tree.

He turned to him, confusion and something similar to panic rising within him. "Doing what? What am I doing?"

"You accidentally get into situations and then end up having to leave with me following," he murmured, "the more we leave together, the more we come back together, the more suspicious it is."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to— I just don't know what to d-do, and I don't want to be with Willowdapple an-anymore," he replied, quickly stumbling over his words, and he hurriedly shifted his position, trying to calm himself. Yet, the panic that quickly rose within him was inconsolable and harsh, grasping tightly onto him.

"I know you didn't mean to," Pantherleap answered.

"Am I coming to you t-too much? Do I need to try and deal with things on m-my own?" He asked though he knew the answer. Every time something goes wrong, I'm always turning back to him, always asking where he is, always needing him. I need to stop, he doesn't have all the time in the world, and if something happens—

"No, it's okay," Pantherleap responded instantly. "It's okay if you want to come to me. But instead of getting in these situations in the first place, just avoid them."

Ears harshly twitching, Adderheart shrugged in response, feeling familiar hot tears blurring at the edges of his vision. He lifted a paw as though to wipe it away, however, it quickly fell as power seemed to drain from his figure.

However, it seemed as though Pantherleap had picked up on what was happening, and the tom lifted a paw carefully. Quickly, Adderheart's gaze stuck to it, yet when he reached it forward as though to brush away his tears, he jerked backward, fur rising quickly.

"Wait, s-sorry, I didn't—" he stuttered, and he hated the way that he was able to see hurt flash within Pantherleap's eyes. "Sorry, I didn't, I didn't m-mean to—"

The larger tom rose to his paws and Adderheart's maw opened, yet he simply just approached him and pulled him closer with his paw. Inching closer, he went silent, yet that didn't mean that his head had stopped all of the thoughts. Inconsolable and never-ending it was, grasping tighter and tighter as moments passed.

And little did he know that his breathing momentarily picked up, that his eyes continued to blur with tears of which he wished he could just wipe away within a swipe, and that his figure began to shake as though he was being harmed. Next to him, Pantherleap clearly noticed this, ears flickering up harshly upon noting said facts.

He tipped his head and gently lifted his paw, using it to wipe Adderheart's gaze, using it to brush away the tears, and he laid his head on the other tom's shoulder. Pantherleap lifted a paw and wrapped it around Adderheart's figure, pulling him closer once more, and the two sat like that while the world continued on.