Amazing Things From a Terrible Night

Day 25

MONDAY:

The smell of waffles, sausage and bacon was the first thing I smell when I wake up. God, Alondra's cooking was like love. She's so kind to cook something I like even more than school chicken biscuits. When I walk in there, I see my plate made right next to my clothes. I change into my clothes and go back in to eat. Man, was it good.

Alondra: "You like it?"

Me: "As always, Alondra."

Alondra: "Thank you, sweetheart."

Me: "And thank you for this great breakfast."

She smiles and blushes. When she leaves, Jesus comes out of the bathroom.

Jesus: "You gotta quit flirting with my mom. You know she already has a crush on you."

Me: "She's a beautiful lady. Why would I stop flirting? You shouldn't talk to your future step dad like that."

Jesus: "Haha. Shut up, asshole."

Me: "Heh. Yeah. I can't be with your mom anyways. Due to the fact that it'd complicate things between me and Emily."

Jesus: "Emily? Don't you mean that girl you've liked for like 12 years?"

Me: "1 and a half. And yes. That Emily. Or as I like to call it, my girlfriend."

Jesus: "Shut up, bruh. You ain't gonna tap that."

Me: "Man. What did I say about talking about her that way?"

Jesus: "Yeah. Don't disrespect people that haven't done you wrong, but still, you can't get her. You said it yourself."

Me: "Well, I did say that, but if you ask her, she'd probably talk about how we kissed in front of my door."

Jesus: "For real?"

Me: "Yeah. You know I don't lie to you. I either tell you or not. No lies to the people that don't need to be lied to."

Jesus congratulates me and we just sit there, not even eating. Just silence. Until he had something to ask.

Jesus: "Hey, Chad?"

Me: "Yeah?"

Jesus: "How are you feeling? About your friend, I mean."

I just sat there. I tried to not think about it. It was almost working.

How was I feeling? I missed him like crazy. I wish I could walk up to his room and see him there or at least wake up one day with him to my left again. All I want is to be with him again. I never thought you could miss someone so much. I'm surprised that I'm not like those depressed people who sit by a rainy window, crying as if though those tears were contributions of a wet day. I cry too much, but I guess it hurts too much for me to even try crying because crying is a way to show others how you feel, but everyone already knows. Maybe it just hasn't fully hit me yet on how hard this all is. I mean, it is bad, but I don't think I have the full effect of it all.

Ryan would've made sense out of that.

Me: "I can't describe it. I mean, I can't say something to you like, 'Imagine how it'd be if your mom died,' because it's not like that. Me losing him isn't equal or worse than that, but it's really bad."

Jesus: "I know. It's like if I lost something close to me. You're right, maybe not my mom, but it'd be like me losing you or Ant. I'd cry. It's horrible to lose anyone close to you. That's losing family.

"And you know how I am about family. If someone is family of blood, they're family unless they do something terrible. And if someone can show you true and genuine love by proving that they're loyal and worthy of your friendship, then they're family.