Love for dying boys [Todobaku]

25 | Love for dead boys (end. 3)

!!! Please read!!! TRIGGER WARNING

So first of, I know that overdose hurts, I just didn't know how to write it, plus it would probably be a trigger not only for some of you but also, probably, for me.

Second of, this is the last chapter and the last alternative ending.

Third , after I finish it I'll probably edit this, or not. I have something like a writers block right now, and I didn't want to just leave this book, so this is the only book I'm working on right now.

!!!Last but not least, I've seen more and more comments in this story, about how bad your state and situation is. Please search for help, talk to someone, and please try to keep on living and fighting. My dms are always open, if you want to talk. Remember, you're important, you matter, and believe me a lot of people will be sad and will lose themselves if you die or disappear. In the end everything is okay, and if it's not okay, it's not the end!!!

-3rd POV-

After months of Katsukis top and bottom surgery, months after the mental health institute closed, and months of Shoto trying to ignore the self harm scars on his body, they sit on the couch, pretending that all the bad and painful years didn't happen. They stare at the small TV in front of them as if they had the most normal and pain-free life.

A pain-free life is what they really wished for. Of course they also wished to never lose the other, but how do you want to keep on living if all you feel is pain? You ignore it, you just bury it inside of you, you live with it. But who really wants to live that way. Sure nothing lasts forever, but all the years, with the mental institute, the abuse, sexual harassment, living in the wring body, that feels like a forever for the boys. The question is, when will their forever end? When will the suffering end.

Some people might say that when you're with the person you love the most, pain won't be a problem. That is pure bullshit. Emotions don't care for your situation in life. They may come at the right point, but they also can come random and really at a unnecessary moment. Feelings are weird, that is for sure. And they are for sure tired.

Tired has a lot of meanings, it depends on your feelings and situation. They are for sure tired of life. Not that they don't want to see the world, they do, they want to see it. They can't deal with the world anymore, maybe even with themselves. Oh god, how much the want to travel and see new places, thy just don't have the energy.

So did the depression even go away? Did they really win the fight? Ever heard the phrase 'poised your life with lies'? So, the answer is no, they didn't win. They poised their life with the beautiful lie that they are okay. They didn't and don't want to face the hurtful truth. But for how long do they can keep the emotions inside of them. Not long.

-

"Shoto, I'm tired" "It's only eight" Katsuki shakes his head "No, not that kind of tired" he stays silent for a moment, thinking that Shoto understood what he means "I'm tired of-" "Life, living, trying?" Katsuki nods "Sorry, it wasn't suppose to come out so harsh" Katsuki buries his face in Shotos chest "It's alright. But yeah, of living" "Me too" Shoto would be lying if he said no.

"How long do we want to pretend that everything is okay?" Shoto shrugs and stays silent, thinking about his question. "Can't we just disappear?" "I wish, but it's not how it works, Katsuki" a tear rolls down Katsukis cheek "Would you be mad, if I say that I don't want to try anymore" Katsuki looks up at Shoto and waits for an answer and only get a no as an answer.

"I would be lying, if I said no" he hugs him as hard as he can "I'm not okay. IT's like the pain never went away, Katsuki. I've tried to ignore it, but I can't do it forever, you understand right?" he nods "What now? Will we keep on living like thi-" Katsuki cuts him off "We could just end it all" they let go of the hug and look each other in the eyes "Together I mean".