things I didnt have time to tell you

chapter eighteen _ Goodbye Juggie

Betty's POV
I went to the hospital as soon as I heard the news. Everyone was there including Veronica, Archie, Cyrus and Jughead's family. Veronica rushed to me and we hugged each other
"I can't believe it Betty ; we're loosing him. "
Then FP came to us. He had red eyes and he was hopeless
"I tried to call you Betty but you didn't answer. Doctors don't know the reason but they said he'll never wake up. He's in a coma right now and he can't talk but if you have anything to say, I'm sure he can hear you. " he pointed to the room and came back to his family.
I went to his room. He was there. His lifeless body was lying there covered with medical stuff. I took a seat next to him and hold his hand
"Hey Jug it's me,Betty . It seems ridiculous but I still don't know the reason I'm here because I didn't want to see you again; but I believe in the power of love ; it's stronger than anything and that's why I'm here talking to you. I wish you couldn't just hear what I say. I'm going to miss your jokes Jug although they weren't funny.
Jughead, I should confess that I don't know the reason I left you last month; maybe because I loved you so much that I didn't want to lose you but I think I was wrong. I was so stupid that I left you.
Juggie, you asked me something stupid and now it's my turn. I want to ask you the most stupid thing; I want you to wake up for me although it's impossible. I want you to wake up because I can't tolerate this world without you, losing you is has been my biggest fear since I saw you. Juggie want you to wake up because seeing you like this breaks my heart. I know I didn't love you the way I had to but if you love me,please don't leave me "
I wiped my tears and got out of his room. I sat in the waiting room next to Cyrus. He saw my tears and gave me some tissues
"Thanks for coming Betty. You should that I never told him what you said that day " he said
"Why?"
"He loved you Betty. "
"I should have listened to you. If he dies, I will never forgive myself "
"Betty I want you to do him a favor "
"What ?"
"Let him go. You are the reason he's still alive because his soul isn't dead yet. He tried to believe the fact that his life must be ended and that's why he's not going to wake up again. So, why should he suffer when he doesn't have to? What if we end up his suffering?"
"I can't Cy. I can't lose him "
"Betty, what's the advantage of living when you're not really living? He can stay in coma forever but do you really want him to suffer?"
"H_ how should I let him go?"
"Just say it by your heart. I'm sure he's waiting for you "
"How are you sure that it's going to help him? How do you know that I am the reason?"
"When you were in his room, did you say goodbye?"
"No, I didn't "
"But we all did. You're the only one who's left. You may believe that he is going to wake up but he won't because he doesn't want to "
"Why? Why does he want to leave? Why does he want to leave me when I need him?"
"Betty, where were you when he needed you? I begged you to come back but you didn't care "
I couldn't say anything because it was all my fault. I started sobbing and he hugged me
"You can do it Betty. I know you're strong . Just go and let him go "
I went to his room. Everyone was there. I stood next to his bed and hold his hand, again.

"Juggie, I know what you're waiting for.  I don't wanna lose you Jug but once you told me something that was the best lesson I've ever learned. You told that when you love someone, you leave to do anything to make him happy, even if you have to let him go. I love you so much Jughead and I wanna let you go because I know this is the only way I can make you happy. So, goodbye Juggie, I will see you soon "
Soon I understood that everyone was looking at me. I couldn't stop myself crying but I didn't have to be sad, I made the love of my life happy.
After that we stood there in silence he started flat lining and we did nothing except watching him dying in peace. Forsythe Pendleton Jones III left us for good . I could never see him laughing; I good never celebrate his 19th birthday and I could never tell him that I am sorry for whatever I did, for all the times I broke his heart and he forgave me. He was gone and as soon as he died, my world became black and white.
We left the hospital and went to Jughead's house. Soon Fred Andrews joined us and said he was sorry for what happened to Jug.
FP didn't cry at all because he believed morning for dead people is useless and we have to continue our lives .
I went to Jughead's room for the last time, I saw Cyrus there; he was crying in silence
"I thought you're happy he's dead " I said
"He was my brother, I'm happy because he's in peace right now but I'm going to miss him so much "
"Me too, I can't imagine world without him. I feel like I'm going to die every second without him; he was my world "
"You know that he's not really dead ? Death is the beginning of human's real life . We shouldn't be sad that he's gone. We should be sad for ourselves, we are supposed to live in this world, trying to survive every day but he survived. He's free "
Then Jellybean came to us. She was trying hard not to cry but she couldn't
"He didn't get out of this room since he came back from Mexico. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I'll never have a brother to support me. "She said
"Jellybean, I know I wasn't there for Jughead when he needed me but you can always count on me. Okay?" I said
"Thanks Betty. Would you please come downstairs? Dad wants to tell you about funeral "

I am so sorry I killed Jughead but I hope you enjoyed it. The next part is going to be the last. I will really appreciate it if you vote my story. Love you. Mal