beneath tangerine skies | eishi tsukasa

― 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 ;

CHAPTER ELEVEN - AUTUMN'S HEARTH

I don't know if it's possible to take hate away from people. Not even people like us, who've seen firsthand what hate can do. We're all hurting. We're all going to be hurting for a long time. And we, probably more than anyone else out there, will be searching for a new reality every day. A better one. ― Hate List by Jennifer Brown

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Ever since her scene in the council meeting turned shokugeki, everyone had been more submissive and afraid. It was nice to be recognized but it also bored her to her wits because suddenly, no one dared to look at her much more, approach her. She figured that Totsuki must really be the breeding ground of spineless chefs and it would have made her commit genocide if not for the Polar Star Dorm who kept her entertained enough as to not snap completely. This thinning thread of patience with the academy made her file a sick leave. Which she wasn't entirely lying about since she was sick of everything the school was. Sometimes she wished that Senazaemon would just collapse so that change would be inescapable. Cruel of her but she was never the angel even before her twisted evolution.

That was exactly why she was in one of the bath houses in Osaka. The peace and relaxation it brought made her forget her worries. It made her float because it made her feel like she wasn't Yamada Sachiyo but rather, Sachi. That beautiful gardenia from before that gently danced with the breeze of her life. Often, she would think back and regret the decisions that led her to this... monstrosity but she paid attention not to dwell on it too much. After all, the past is simply a fragment of your reality that's neither of use and not.

A small leaf floating down towards the warm water made her smile softly, an expression you would not find on her on usual days, "it's autumn... The Moon Banquet is approaching."

It would be Sachiyo's first and last experience of the said festival. Due to her sudden exit during her first year, she was unable to participate. While it did made her regret that she wasn't able to set up her own school stall, something that she deems to be vital in her high school life, it also seems wrong to sully the elegance of the festival while she was not in terms with the idea of cooking.

Still, she was anxiously anticipating the event. She had high hopes because it was Totsuki. Surely, it would be adequate at the very least, right? A small smile tugged her lips as she felt something akin to joy bubble in her heart. She had a few talks with her psychiatrist and it seemed that her numerous outbursts were ironically good for her mental health as she now takes a lower dosage of her antidepressants and other medications.

Overall, she's calm and possibly in the best state she has found herself in for a while. Sure there's Rindou who was convincing her to begin talking to Eishi again but she can easily refuse. She didn't want to talk to the male nor was there any reason to do so. Still, her heart sank again as she realized that it was autumn. The season she will forever associate with the white haired boy. It just seemed fitting for him in ways she cannot explain. Something about his elegance and gentleness but the undeniable truth behind it felt so close to the way leaves fell into their cycle.

"Told you not to think about him," she warned herself as she pulled her knees closer to her chest. Truth is, she was still madly in love with the male but it was simply not for them.

"If destiny denies me then I too will deny everything," her whisper faded with the wind as she stood up and wrapped herself in a towel, ready to go to bed.