50 Shades of Ariana

8

The next morning, I just stayed in bed. The whole situation last night put me in a shitty mood.

Ariana continues to act like I willingly put myself in this position, but I didn't. At the same time, I can understand how a little ungrateful I've been. I could just be submissive and not anger her.

Do as I'm told.

A simple rule that I some how had a bad habit of unconsciously rebelling.

"We are going grab lunch you want to come?" Joan asks from the door.

"No I'm feeling ill, but thank you anyways."

I notice Joan doesn't leave and instead walks in.

"Is everything okay? Do I need to bring you something back? Ariana won't be back until tonight."

Her name sent chills down my back. I sit up and look at her.

"I'm fine, just cramps. My period is coming. I don't really have an appetite, but thank you anyways. Go enjoy yourself." I smile and I can tell she's thinking, but nods me off and leaves.

I let out a breath in relief and laid back down. Days like this, my best friend would have me happier than ever.

I was lonely.

The worst feeling.

Your bad thoughts and memories cloud your mind when loneliness comes around.

Everyone didn't return until the late evening and I hadn't left the bed other than using the bathroom. I hadn't eaten or drank a single thing in 24 hours. I could hear Ariana's peppy voice in the living room with her family.

At least she was happy in the wake of all this.

I heard footsteps and pretended I was asleep.

"Hey baby. My mom said you were cramping? Do you want me to run a warm bath or get you some medicine?"

Silence.

Probably my worst decision.

"I know you aren't sleeping baby. Is this about last night?"

Silence.

Her patience is ticking.

The covers are ripped off of me.

"If you don't tell me the problem, I can't fix it." She says through gritted teeth.

"I'm s-sorry please don't get mad again." I say sitting up. Her face softens a little.

"Just tell me baby. I'll fix it." She says with pleading eyes.

"Last night made me feel like shit. I'm lonely Ariana! Even with all these people around me!" The tears start to fall. I hadn't had a good cry in a long time.

"I miss my home! This is a dream, but without my family and friends in it! I know you have been bending forwards and back for me, but I can't shake this feeling of sadness."

Ariana seems to be battling within herself. It seems anger and sadness were fighting to see who would escape.

"I'm sorry I can't fill the void you are feeling and knowing I probably won't hurts like hell. I just want you to be happy, but you clearly aren't."

Her words held so much weight that I felt like I was going to go through the floor. Now instead of me feeling sad for myself, I felt sad for her.

"I feel even lonelier when you act like you did yesterday." I whisper cry

This was the complete truth and Ariana was lost for words.

I know she feels her emotions are justified because she's just too damn headstrong.