50 Shades of Ariana

40

She reads my face and then says a point blank "No."

"How would you be pregnant right after landing here? I'm sure you need consent. Besides, I wanna be married first." She grabs my hand and smiles.

I couldn't find a trace of dishonesty, but she was really good at hiding it.

She pulls me into a tight hug, but I still didn't believe it. I've just had a feeling and elders know when someone is expecting.

Maybe that's why Scooter denied my request to tour because Ariana told him I was getting pregnant.

I really have to drop everything and be a mother. This wasn't the plan, but was any of this?

Every curveball I've had to take was because Ariana wanted me to take it.

She had to do some backwards stuff to make this happen and she still is by lying.

I didn't know how to feel about this and I didn't know what to do with this.

My child would come into this world not knowing he/she wasn't planned by me at least. There own mommy didn't plan them.

I wanted a kid trust, but just like that?

No.

I feel trapped and that's not what I want.

My family and best friend don't even see eye to eye with Ariana.

"Ari." I croak.

"Yes baby?"She rubs my back and I feel a new sense of comfort.

Will it be all bad if we were having a baby?

"I want to get an ultrasound. Just to make sure I'm not pregnant." I felt tears stream down my face.

"Okay." She says flatly which sends me into confusion.

"I'll schedule you one." She says as she pulls away.

Something about that didn't sit right with me either, but I nodded like the clown I am.

She wipes my tears and walks us down to her family. I noticed Frankie had joined in.

"What's wrong?" He asks with a sad expression.

"Just emotional as usual." I say as I turn to look at everyone.

Nonna and Joan seemed to apologetic, but I gave them an assuring smile to notify them that it was okay.

Ariana and I decided to stay the night.

As I stood in my bra and panties, I stared in the mirror at my body.

The thought of carrying a baby always excited me, but the fact that Ariana is most likely lying to me about impregnating me is hurting this idea.

I seen her in the mirror looking at me with a smile.

"Ari." I flicker my eyes from her, back to my body.

"Yes?" She hums.

"Did you have someone impregnate me? This is your final chance."

I meant it. If she lied, I would somehow leave.

I didn't want an abortion. If I had a baby, I had a baby. We would make it.

My parents would make sure.

"Do you want to be pregnant because you keep thinking you are?" She snaps.

"And if you were, you think you are gonna just leave? This would be OUR baby not yours. I believe it's a miracle and if you don't think so then I'll take care of it."

"Do you not understand how fucked up that is if you did have me impregnated?! I told you I wasn't ready. I told you we needed stability and you used my body. Why not use your fucking own?!" I felt the tears burning my eyes.

She clenches her teeth.

"Why are you doing this to me? Once I have this baby, it's mommy mode now. I won't be able to dance and will have to help maintain our up and down relationship for the sake of a healthy home. You get to go live your dream while I'm here letting mines pause. Do you ever think about me?"

My heart ached.

"So once the truth comes out, what are you gonna do then? Call it a 'miracle'? Claim you had nothing to do with this still? Threaten me?" I say now in her face.

"If you could have waited the answer would've been yes. Your family is just what our baby would need. My family too. The support around us would make our child feel safe at every turn, but as for you? I'm not sure."

I walk to my side of the bed and turn out the light.

"Goodnight."