50 Shades of Ariana

49

I left the hospital with the help of Danielle and Ariana.

I drove with Danielle and Ariana followed behind in her own.

The baby was doing great and my little monkey was moving so much since last night.

It made me feel great when I felt and seen her little body moved.

"Dani." I just flat out started bawling.

I didn't know why, but I also did know why.

Princess loved Ariana and I know it's going to kill me when I have to leave for our safety.

That's if Ariana lets me leave.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain? Do I need to turn around?!" Danielle started to panic.

"I can't do this Danielle. I can't go through with this." I sobbed.

Danielle pulls over and that prompts Ariana to pull over also.

"Don't say that Arielle. We can get through this." Danielle lip quivers.

Ariana quickly gets out and goes to my side and notices my distress.

Danielle rolls her eyes and before they can start going at it, I unlock the door.

Ariana opens the door and turns me to her.

"What's going on Arielle?!" Ariana asks in panic.

"I can't. do. this. any-anymore." I sob with hiccups.

"What can't you do?" She caresses my face and holds my hand.

"I can't have this baby. I can't pretend we are good. I can't live like this." I bawl even harder.

"No no. Don't say that. I love you so much." Ariana pulls me into her arms as I bawl.

"Please calm down. Please don't leave." Ariana clings on to me like her life was falling from her hands.

I continued to bawl.

I didn't necessarily want to die, but I wanted to disappear.

To not exist in this dimension.

"Please baby stop crying. Look at me." Ariana pleads and puts my face in her hands.

Our eyes met and we just stared at each other.

We were both worn out and clearly both needed help.

What the fuck were we doing when we decided to bring a baby in all this?

"Do you love me?" I ask.

"With every fiber of my being." Ariana says and continues to read my face.

"Stop hitting me then." I say as I pull away from her.

Ariana drops her hands and stares at me.

"Do better for you and not us!" I bark.

"We deserve it, but you can't keep using us as a crutch." I say as I turn back in my seat.

Ariana looks in silence and nods.

"Do you think I can do it?" Ariana asks quietly.

I turn to her and caress her face.

"Yes, but I think you need some help with it."

As much as I didn't want Ariana to be a slave to medication, I felt we were near that point.

"Medication?" She asks as if she read my mind.

"Possibly Ari." I sigh

"Let's just end the day here. I'm extremely exhausted and you are too. Go home and come see us tomorrow okay?" I give her a long kiss and then let her go to her car.