50 Shades of Ariana

37

Scooter eyed me and Ariana in frustration. Joan looked at him in confusion.

My cheeks were rosy red and a sheepish grin followed as I followed his gaze, but once I started walking it turned into a face of soreness.

The dancers got the hint of what happened last night and the fact Ariana and I only got a hour of sleep is showing.

At least for me.

She looked tired, but not as tired and sore as myself.

Why did I let her fuck me like that in the middle of tour?

We got onto the plane and once I sat down I felt some relief.

Ariana was clearly proud of herself and I wanted to knock it out of her.

I had to dance like this which will be hard and I'm sure the crowd will pick up on it.

I'm hoping Tylenol will fix this.

Tylenol is barely fixing it.

I had took it 30 minutes ago and I was feeling drowsy. No sign of relief. Just tiredness.

Ariana was on her phone with her left hand holding mines.

"Ariiii that's so cute!" One of the dancers yelled from the back of the plane.

I look at her.

"What's cute?"

She grins and shows me her story.

She posted a picture taken by Alfredo that was of us where she was holding me Koala style as we walked down the corridor backstage. I had my head in her neck. She just put a clear heart and Alfredo's @.

It was indeed cute and I poked my lip out at it.

She took her chance and pecked them.

"Now your fans are gonna be scouting the internet for my social media which I don't use." I giggle.

"Psst as if they haven't already and most likely found it."

I widen my eyes.

"It's okay."

"I just don't want them prying into my life. Fame is not something I like and I don't want my family in all of this either." I shyly chuckle.

"Oh I get it. Are they private?"

"Yeah, but you probably have hackers and all in your fandom or my followers are suddenly opportunists so it might just find its way out." I sigh and Ariana puts her hand on my thigh.

"It's okay. Scooter doesn't let things slip easily and will have it down immediately if anything." Ariana assures me with a smile.

Doesn't stop them from saving it..

I give a small smile back before I lay my head on her shoulder and start to fall asleep.

The flight wasn't as long as the other, but it was long.

We settled in our hotels and prepared for a dinner out with everyone.

At the dinner, we all seemed like a family.

Everyone talked and joked with no sign of sadness amongst anyone.

The dancing life seemed to be nice for once.

Once we got back to the hotel and settled for bed, Ariana seemed to have something on her mind.

"What are you thinking about?"

"After tour, I want to start settling down. I don't want to work as hard as I've been this year. I want to bask in our relationship, move forward towards marriage, and prepare for kids."

I feel like we have this conversation everyday as we inch closer to the close of tour.

"Ari, I'm young and not ready to completely settle down yet."

She looks over at me.

"As in?"

"Marriage is not on my radar and kids? I want them, but not immediately. I understand you may be inching closer because you're getting older, but remember I am just 18. You weren't thinking about this at 18 were you?"

"Actually I was looking for someone permanent at 18."

"But not kids?"

She grows silent.

"Exactly. Just give it time. I want to still work or be active in my dancing."

She stays silent and I knew hearing this didn't sit well with her. I knew her emotions were brewing over, but she didn't want to scare or push me away.

She was trying and I was happy about that.

I've always dreamed of having kids at this age or a year later, but I don't want kids with her at this moment. She's very mentally unstable and I would hate being in the position of having to choose to stay in a bad situation because I'm not financially stable alone.

I want my kids to observe a healthy and happy relationship not one where momma hits mommy because mommy didn't read momma's mind before she got mad.

It's kind of sad she doesn't see it that way. She just sees it as she's in love and that's all that matters in a relationship which is incredibly wrong. She needs to be diagnosed soon.

This isn't just outburst.

It's something more.

*hi.
just wanna say ily & thank u for reading.
most importantly, should i time skip to after tour or do y'all want me to follow the timeline?
it kind of is boring during tour because there isn't much.
also anything you'd like me to incorporate?
i know y'all got so much you want to include or want more info on.
also, i was on zoom with katy perry.
she seen me, heard all my periodts, saw my pooch, & noticed two of my mutuals. ;)
i also bought stuck with u signed CD. can't wait to get it in 2 months lol.
rain on me. may 22nd. let's get that number one.