No War - Divergent

Chapter 9

Christina and Will follow us into the hospital wing. Tobias holds onto my hand and carries Tamra in his other arm.

"Tris Prior." Tobias says for me. The receptionist nods and takes us into a small white room, of which makes me incredibly nervous.

"Tris, you seemed to have missed your appointment..." Tobias speaks up for me, again.

"Yes, we forgot." He squeezes my hand and for a second, I almost forget about Caleb and my family, I have my own family now.

"Okay, well there's nothing to worry about, Tris but we just need to do some important check ups." She looks me directly in the eyes, but I can't look at her back so I just nod. "First we'll take a scan. If you'd just lie down." She points to the bed and I slowly climb onto it. I lie down and she begins pulling my shirt up, I instantly pull it down again. She looks at me funny. I breathe heavily and Tobias smiles reassuringly at me. She begins to pull my shirt up again but I stop her and begin to stand up. I make my way out of the room. I can't take it...

"Tris!" Tobias shouts after me but I continue walking off. I reach the hospital doors and pull them open and leave. I head to the apartment but that's the most likely place I'll be,  so I turn back and head to our spot in the chasm. I sit there for a while, thinking what I've just done, suddenly I regret it. I don't notice that I'm crying until a tear drops down onto my knees. I wipe more tears that fall off with my sleve. I just sit crying for half an hour or so until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I flinch and turn to it. Tobias.

"Tris, what's the matter?" He says soothingly. I shake my head and turn away from him as he sits next to me. "Tris. Don't tell me it's nothing!"

"Just leave me alone!" I yell at him, he presses his lips into a straight line.

"Tris, why? Why did you walk out of the hospital wing?"

"I...I can't do it..." He shakes his head, not understanding.

"Can't do what?" I clasp my hands together.

"You don't understand! You never will, you will never understand what it feels like to be that uncomfortable that you have to cry to stop your fear from ruling you..." He tenses, even for me, that was a low blow.

"You do want this baby, don't you?" I don't answer. I do want this baby but the stress if suffocating me. "Tris?"

"Yes! Of course I want this baby, I just don't..." I place my head in my hands and let the tears flow. Tobias pull me into him.

"Don't what?" I don't know how to reply. So I rack my brain to think of something to explain.

"I'm not over it yet..." He sighs, he understands what I'm saying...

"Tris, you know I'm never going to force you to-" 

"You've done it before!" I directly tell him.

"What?" I never wanted to do that with you...you made me feel guilty for it... I can't tell him... "I made you? Why didn't you tell me to stop?"

"I felt guilty...If I told you to stop you'd never want to touch me again." He let's go of  me, he's crying as well now.

"Tris, I am so sorry, please Tris-"

"Tobias, it's okay..." He shakes his head, tears flying off his face to all sorts of directions.

"No Tris! I've push you too far...I...I've forced you to-"

"Tobias! I forgive you! It's happened  over and done with..." I lean in to kiss him and we kiss but he pulls away.

"I can't forgive myself..."

"Tobias! Can we not just forget about this?" I lean in to kiss him again but he puts his hand on my chest stopping me.

"We can't forget...we can only forgive..."

"Tobias, I forgive you." I lean in to kiss him again and he doesn't put his hands around my waist. I was right, he's too scared to touch me... I take his hands and place them on my hips and then place my hands under his shirt and on his abs. We continue kissing and then head back to our apartment.