No War - Divergent

Chapter 17

Tobias's P.O.V.

I shake Tris awake. She looks at me, petrified and unable to move. Her elbows prop her up so she leans in front of them whilst lying down.

"What's wrong, Tris?" I ask, my voice still rough in sleep. I get no reply but her heavy breathing. She gives me a forlorn look and then her eyes scan the room. She lies back so she's lying flat. She draws in a deep breath and releases it with more intensity than I've ever seen her experience.

"It was a dream..." She mutters, I sit up, stroke her cheek gently as she closes her eyes, drawing in more breaths.

"Are you okay?" I ask, concerned that her mental problem is occurring again. She throws herself on me, hugging my ribs and burrowing my head in my chest. I swing my arms around her and kiss her hair.

"I was terrified..." She says as her tears wet the bare skin on my abs.

"I think petrified is more of the word you are looking for." I say as an attempt to make her laugh - or at least chuckle. But she doesn't. My brain churns, trying to find something that'll make her laugh. "Remember that time when we first kissed?" I ask her, trying to take her mind off the nightmare. "Or the time you slapped me for being an ass in Lauren's fear landscape?" She makes a whimpering sound, that obviously had something to do with the nightmare.

"Sorry..." She says as she pulls her head from my chest and up to my level.

"Tris, what have you got to be sorry for? I just brought your nightmare u-"

"Stop it!" She snaps, pulling away from me. "I...I-You need to stop blaming yourself..." Am I a six year old? No.

"Tris, I need to be responsible for my actions."

"But...It was my fault, I'm always overreacting..." I give her a sympathetic look and then I pull her in to me again.

"Everyone does it." I mumble to myself, I don't say it out loud in case she decides to try argue again. She's right, but I don't tell her that. She does overreact, a lot. I can't tell her because I know she'll never forgive me. It'll be constantly in her memory.

+++

Tris's P.O.V

I finally calm down in Tobias's arms. I know it's early morning, the clock ticks 3:30pm. We don't want to wake the kids, so we lie down and try to sleep again but I can't.

"Tobias?" I whisper, he ducks his head down to my level.

"Yeah?"

"The nightmare, I can't sleep..."

"Maybe if you tell me about it, I can keep you sane..." He laughs at his sour taste of a joke. I did not find that funny. At all.

"I went to sleep and woke up in a hospital room. You came in as I thought, sweetly but then...y-you...turned..." I say the word turned quieter than the rest. Judging by his facial expressions, he's knows exactly what I'm talking about. Abuse.

Tobias's P.O.V

Abuse. She dreamt that I abused her?

"You know, I'd never do that." I hiss, unintentionally showing my anger.

"Y-You threw me on the floor, I was sick...I begged you to stop...Y-You didn't...And-" Anger bubles within me.

"I don't want to hear it anymore, good night." I release her and turn to face the opposite way. In no more than twenty seconds, I hear her gentle sobs. Why? Why did I do that? A giant pang of guilt hits me in the face. I turn back to see her hunched up in a ball, leaning against the headboard. I place my hand on her knee as I sit up next to her. "I'm sorry..." I say trying to pry her head from her knees. "Tris!" I yell, I hear the soft cries of an awoken Tobie and Tamra's bedroom door creaking open. I notice Tris shaking at my shouting. Sometimes I just loose my temper. Like...Marcus...

"I-I'm sorry...P-Please...don't h-hurt me." She mutters, I've officially done it. I've scared her by shouting after a stupid nightmare. Why am I so stupid? I listen to our bedroom door creak open.

"Go to bed, Tamra." The door no longer creeks and when I turn, she's gone. The soft whimpering of Tobie disappear a while after Tamra leaves. "Tris. I'm sorry...I'm not going to hurt you..." I say softly. "I never will. Just...please..." I manage to pry her head from her knees. I bet she can't see because of all the tears that fall. I did that. Great.

"I...I-I"

"I love you, Tris..." I say depressed that I've upset her.

"I-I   l-l-love...you...t-too." She says shaking, I know she doesn't mean it right now. That's what sets me off. Tears flood out of my eyes. I manage to get the words 'I'm sorry' out but they come out as more of sob than words - meaningful words.

"Me too." I look up at her sudden flow of confidence. She grabs my shirt in her fist and pulls me into a kiss. I kiss her back, I can't resist it anymore.

Later in the day, I apologise to Tamra for shouting at her for coming in our room. I really  didn't mean it. I never mean it. I'm just in a phase anger.