Prose and poetry

Appointment

-Maybe it was me, and I am just talking to myself while crying because I wasn't able to see what the world asked me to do. Maybe it was me and I deliberately ignored what the world asked me to do because I found it unfair. Not for me, but for the others : Why would I have more ? I prefer not having a good life than having one provided by other's pain and tears. Or maybe I can't see that things are getting better because I lived all my life in a never-ending cycle of disabilities and realizations.
One thing for sure ? Ok mister the psychiatrist, you want a "sure" fact I think about my life ?
-Yes, that is what I wanted to know since the beginning

.-I am here. Talking with you.
-Stop playing at the "I am smarter than you" game please.

-But I am not. The only thing I know is that right now I am talking with you, because one day I asked for help about my violent father and nobody listened.

-That is not true.

-HOW can you know ? WERE YOU there ?
-Calm yourself.

-If you were ME, would you be calm ?

-That is not the problem.

-Then what is ? I think I heard you before talking about the "I am smarter than you" game. If I can NOT play it, then does that mean YOU can ? Because right now, isn't this what you are doing ?

-That is not going to help you.

-AND ? What is ?

-Talking about your situation.

-I already did.

-No you did not. You talked to me about things you think.

-But THAT IS my situation. I don't know what I am, what I need to do to not be a victim anymore, because when I talk about what is happening to me or what happened to me i need to see people like you who ask me dumb questions over and over again. Can you help me ?

-Yes, of course.

-Then what are you doing here ?

-Excuse me ?

-My problems are the violence I had from my dad, and I need to talk to you asking my ACTUAL situation. Funny, isn't it ? My problems are my epilepsy who is killing my brain little by little. Why are you here asking me how I feel about it ? If you were in my shoes, losing your intellect because of a brain disease, would you feel happy ? Why are you asking me the obvious ?

-You need to calm down.

-I don't care. Goodbye.

-You can't leave now, we are still in the middle of the appointment.

-I have nothing more to say. You have nothing more to ask.

-How do you know that ?

-"How do you feel today ?" My brain is dying and I don't know if I will be alive tomorrow. "Why is that ?" I have epilepsy. "Why are you sad ?" My family is breaking appart because I can't do studies. "Why don't you say it then ?" Would you in my shoes ? no ? then stop asking the obvious. "Why are you still talking about what your dad supposedly did to you after 4 years ?" Maybe because it REALLY happened and I have the subtile feeling that I am not believed about it?
-You are making this all up.

-No. You are the fourth psychiatrist I see in the last 6 years. Now, I will return to my happy life with my happy autism, my happy epilepsy and my happy mother who is accused of all the evil on earth because her happy son one day decided to talk about the pain on his shoulders his happy father hurt while grounding him. And I will live in our HAPPY society where you need to be a slave to have somewhere to live and something to eat. Goodbye, my happy psychiatrist.