Prose and poetry

Like a bug in my mind

I always tried to force her back, like she was a bug in my mind, but she never got angry at me. She always obeyed, and just looked at what was happening, silenciously.
Oh, how I thank her for that.

We then talked with each other, and I gave her a little freedom by opening her cage, she flew and used my arm as a plaything, we would laugh our heart out, and then stop.

Every time, she observed, every time, she was there, looking through the bars of her cell, at my stepfather strangling me. Every day, she was with me, hearing my mother explaining to me how I was a failure of a son because I was useless, while I was screwing up voluntarily to focus the stepfather's anger on me, not on mom. All of that, she was seeing it clearly.

When I suffered a black eye from a punch of my stepfather and needed to skip school, when his hands were printed on my neck, when my mother tortured me by saying I was the cause of all the violence my father and stepfather did to the family, one day, she took control. She took control, and began to say facts :

-MY fault ? And who decided to marry this asshole who is capable of strangling me every week for amusement ?

stepfather tried to say :
-Stop talking like that to your mother !

-And you shut the fuck up ! I'M useless ? Vulgar ? What do you think about a stepfather talking every time to my friends about homosexuality ? What's with you ? do you get a BONER when you hit me ?

My mother opened two round eyes, silenced.

But "She" continued to talk, as I was watching her letting out years of accumulation ;
-And also, WHERE is all the money, stepfather ? If I remember correctly, you got enough to feed us, but why is it so hard to end the month each time ?

Stepfather was fulminating. He got up from his seat, and chased me into my room.

"She" smiled. She finally let out all her anger, and I remember the pain in our throat as she was laughing while my stepfather was strangling us.