If I Need You, I'll See You In My Dreams

Part 4: THE STORY

           Song recommendation fro today is "The Story Never Ends" by Lauv

  "Wooyoung."

     Saying his name, just thinking about it, makes your heart, break into a million little pieces. You wanted to cry, cry your eyes out and throw up all the feelings that were bottled inside.

     "y/n" Seonghwa muttered as he extended his arms to hold on while turning your way. To hold on to you... to comfort you.

     "Don't..."  you said. Keeping a straight face. While taking a deep breath, in an attempt to keep your composure. Because you can't cry. Not in front of him. You don't need his pity. And he doesn't deserve to feel bad for you. It puzzled you, how difficult it was to not cry out loud. Scream at the top of your lungs. Yet he does not get to see you cry. After all, he left you. left you to wonder where he vanished to, without a word. Without even saying goodbye, he disappeared.

     "Don't touch me," you said. Calm, but stern. You're not a high schooler anymore. You're not young anymore. You're not his friend anymore.

     Nothing less and nothing more.

     You gaze up at the distance roads, turning your face away from Seonghwa's direction. There is a horizon between the field across the road and the night sky full of stars. It's a magical view for a night like this. A night that carries a sob story for people to read about.

     You look at Seonghwa with eyes that hold a thousand, million words. His soft black hair is reflecting against the moonlight. It is blowing across his face as the wind sweeps the tension among you. The tension that holds a history belonging to you and only him. His hair... it holds so much character. Once again, he looks like the person you know.

..................

     He had blonde hair when you first saw him on TV for the first time. It was peachy and unfamiliar. It carried a cold persona. You couldn't recognize him at a glance. When you finally understood, you stared at his face for hours on end.

     "So that's where he ran off to..." you remember thinking. You remember going through a roller coaster of emotions all alone.

..................

     Flashbacks rushing back into your mind like an old movie reeling, roll after roll, scene after scene. Each moment you spend together; good, bad, exhilarating and frightening.

     You were just friends, but more than that. You weren't lovers but you loved each other. It was a beautiful time to be alive.

     How hard it was for you; he may never know. But there was someone... not Ji Yeon, someone else. He was there for you when you cried for so many nights and poured your heart out to him. You never thought of this moment, never thought how painful this moment would be. This moment he chooses to part ways.

     "It's happening all over again." You said.

     Thoughts, speculations, tearing through your mind, "There has to be something going on... he is not the type of person to do this." All the while knowing that this, won't change the fact that he broke up with you. He's leaving you...

     He left you.

     It's hard to face reality. Reality is sitting beside you. It is staring at you right in the face.

    "It's not fair," you spoke under your breath.

     You look up at the starry yet gloomy sky and blink the tears away.

     "Why is everything going wrong today?" you wonder.

     You squeeze your eyes shut tight to stop the tears. Still, they come creeping down your eyelids and stream along your glowing cheeks. One fell, two fell, tears fall pouring out of your eyes. You put your guard down. No... your "guard," was never there. It was denial, spite and history.

     You cover your face and eyes to hide, with both of your hands. Your entire body trembles to the beat of your sobbing. You can feel the muscles in your face shaking. You can taste the salty tears as they fall onto your lips. You hear yourself silently screaming to release the pain you hold inside your throat. Your heart sinks deeper and deeper, each time you let out air. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't pleasant. You felt pathetic and miserable.

     As the night gets darker and your sobs get louder, you feel the embrace of Seonghwa. You feel his touch for the first time in two years. It's warm in this cold weather. It brings you comfort and relief. You continued to cry like a little child as he held on to you.

     "I'm sorry," He said.

     Guilt, regret, pity, sorrow and all the feelings you can feel. These two words held so much meaning and you can hear every single one of them through his Caring voice.

............

     Seonghwa left, but he was always there. In the back of your mind. From the day he stepped in to that classroom. There was always comfort in his presence. Even the thought of him made you feel warm inside. There was never a guard between the two of you. The walls between you collapsed a long time ago and they were never going to come back up.

     "Can I say the same for him?" You ask yourself. Whilst being wrapped up in his arms and feeling hollow inside.

     He was your person before anyone else. 

    Were you his?

Part 5:

To be continued~