crap

Untitled Part 49

Yall we're at 690 views,

Nice

Thank you to the few people that read this

Ranting time!

I love ranting time

I literally just had a shower, and this chapter is me elaborating on my thoughts

But first

Some memes

This is wholesome ^^ I love it so much

That's what I read first lmao

If you hard, then you hard

Sum deep shit

I can name like 20 I know who would do this

Cakepop14

^^^^

whAt YouVe NevEr PlaYed TubEr SimUlaTor

Help

Anyways

rANTING TIME BOIS

I act like thousands read this when in reality it's like 3 people 

Thank you, three people

I appreciate it

Anyways ranting time

Ok

Is it just me, or when I'm around people I love and adore, i hate myself even more than I already do.

Because to me, it's clear, they have flaws, they have their bad days, they're normal- but in my eyes literally everything about them is perfect, and not a bother at all. 

I'll explain what I mean by that.

I'm currently really self conscious about my face, it's shape and my skin, my eyes etc.

But when I see other people and just focus on their flaws (in terms of what is seen in general as a 'flaw') they seem to look fine with it, and somehow make everything look nice.

I don't know how to put this into words, I'm trying :)

It's like "I have bushy eyebrows, and my eyes are a weird shape" but someone with bushy eyebrows, and a similar eye shape, I'll think "they look good with it, why can't I"

So when I'm hanging out with my friends, or my girlfriend, I just want to run off thinking that I'm too obnoxious, loud, ugly, fat and just terrible in general.

But when I spend a lot of time alone, I feel more and more confident in myself. I think that this is how I want to present myself to people around me. But the next morning, as I'm getting ready for school, I feel like crying because all the confidence I had the day before is gone.

i want to change this, I don't want to feel like I have to try hard to be presentable, even though the people around me aren't even consciously trying and they already are perfect.

I wish for once I didn't make a big effort and look fine.

Anyways that's it for my shower rant

(Yes it was a very depressing shower lol)

I'm gonna go read fan fiction or something, all my friends aren't replying to my messages D;

Good bye, 

And I hope you have a nice day :)

Or night, depends what time you're reading this :)))

Bye