out of breath ; hemmings au

nineteen

              72 HOURS AGO

"Ashton! Did you talk to my dad?" I ask.

Ive been waiting for this phone call for a while now. Luke's eyes show anxiousness as mines, dying to know what's coming next for us.

"Sweetheart!" This wasn't Ashton, it was my dad. "I'm so happy you're okay! I miss you so much! And I've been feeling incredibly guilty... Of course, it's my fault and I'm so sorry for everything. I love you so much!"

I don't know what to say, what to think... I wasn't ready to talk to him. Should I forgive him? Should I not? What do you say to someone that lied to you your whole life, and I'm not speaking of a friend here, it's my own blood that kept me in the dark forever. He needed to see me at risk –at death risk– to come clean... Well, not even then. Luke was the one who told me everything. Would my dad have told me himself if I was still at home? What if Luke and Ashton would have managed to keep everything a secret? What about then?

I look up to Luke as if he was able to help through this, but all I find is him frowning in concern. I really can't make my mind up right now, so I choose silence. Not achieving it, my sniffs run through the line until they reach my dad's expectant ears.

"Moon, I love you and you should never forget that," he's not rushing his words anymore. "Since the day your mom told me she was pregnant with you, since you were the size of the smallest seed, I've loved you and that will never change. I want what is best for you, and that's why I've kept it a secret until now... I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't want you to think badly of me- I know, I know," he said that as If I was going to interrupt him when I wasn't. "I should've know this was going to come out sooner than later-"

"Sooner? I'm seventeen dad," it came out even more harsh than I expected.

Now Luke understands my sudden sadness. He caresses my leg in support before standing up and leaving me alone to talk to my dad.

"I'm so sorry, M." he sobs into the phone making me sob too. "I can't take back what I did... I shouldn't have lied about my job. I should've told you when you were old enough but I felt so bad about it. I'm sorry, I was so selfish and I would've never guessed Ben had this in him," he pauses to let out a loud cry. "He took my girl..."

I'm full on crying with him. Even though we are far apart, it feels as if I had him right in front of me. I can see him squeezing the phone in anger and regret; I know he's crying his heart out to show me, he's really sorry and he loves me. I know he's pulling his hair, gritting his teeth with eyes shut.

I know my dad. I know who he is, even though he lied to me about what he did for a living. I know too, I wouldn't be myself if I hadn't had him around, if he wasn't the one who raised me. I need to forgive him because of that, it might take time to go back to what it used to be, but I have to try. I love him too, a lot. And I can't deny I might never see him again if we go through with what I want to do.

"I love you too, dad. But I'm still hurt because of it all."

"I know honey," he says sniffing.

"What does mom know?" I want to know.

"She knows everything. She has always known about my business, but she's never thought it would get this bad. I mean, after all, you wouldn't be left without a father because the police was protecting us, but now... I can't believe how everything went upside down."

I hear him cry.

"We can try and solve it now, kind of," I say. It's not solving anything but at least the innocent will be safe again. "Calum needs to be home safe and sound, and I really want to go back home too, dad," I whine a bit. I need him to help us end this.