"Hurry up and pass the weed!" This guy was yelling at me.
"Hold on nigga did you put in bro. Did. You. Put. In." I said back to Thomas. This weird-ass nigga always trying to smoke somebody's weed with his overly wet lip ass.
"I told you I got you next time Lo."
"And you gone smoke, next time nigga. The fuck." I sparked up and smoked by my damn self.
By this time I'm high as fuck right now so everything seems hilarious to me. Even staring at the wall is funny. Wait, is Patrick from off Spongebob be this high. Bruh that nigga laugh at static. Yeah, that nigga be under that rock dummy high.
"Damn nigga you still wearing yeezys." My other friend Malcolm came in. Now, this guy is your typical I'm woke type of dude. Me, knowing damn well he be listening too much to conspiracy theories. If I'm gonna die because of eating fast food or some mystical shit, I'm gonna die happy.
"Look I paid too much for my yeezy shoes. People think I'm going to burn these hoes because this nigga brainwashed. I'll rock my shit till my application at the plantation kicks in. You know they gone make me a field nigga right. They not gonna let me in the house with them white girls." I laughed.
"You going to burn in Hell." He always say that to me. Don't he know Satan gonna think I'm annoying as hell.
"Right next to yo dumb ass. We gone burn together forever bitch." I said.
Sometimes I think my friends just gonna like... throw me off a bridge. Especially this one girl I know, she really going to do it. In fact, she tells me she is going to throw me off a bridge, but I see multiple problems with it.
"What we doing today." Malcolm asked.
"Anything to be honest. Oo lets go to the mall I need some shits. I can't think of what its call but I will know it when I see it." I went to stand up but almost fell back down. Note to self: never get up fast while high.
***
Well pulled up to thee mall and I'm still high as fuck. It's Saturday and I'm just chillin ya know. Today it was just Malcolm, Thomas weird-ass and I chill day since we don't have to work. I got hungry but these hoes didn't want to get me anything. So I just went and bought Oreo ice cream.
Have y'all ever just think that some ice cream be tasting hella good for no reason. Like, the texture of different places ice cream be either good as fuck or like that store-bought shit. I might just be really high but yeah.
I turned around and bumped into this fine ass woman. Damn, she got an ass.
"My bad I didn't see you there miss," I said.
"That's fine I wasn't paying attention to where I was looking." She said looking at me up and down. I knew she wants this.
"This might be inappropriate, and very blunt, but you fine ass hell girl. You do like modeling or some shit." I asked. I started eating my ice cream and rocking back and forth while she was talking.
"Well yeah but I run a model agency now."
"Damn big baller okay I see you. You know, I could be America's Next stop Model, but I don't think the world ready for all of this. But you have a great day though." I was going to walk away but shorty grabbed my hand.
"What's your name." She asked me.
"Rory. What about you miss model agent." I said giving her my million dollar smile... even though I'm dummy fried.
"Ashleigh ." She said
"Well, Ash it's nice meeting you. My friends over there are going to die because of the things I've been seeing so wish me luck." I laughed
I went over to my friends were being idiots while I was talking to her. I smacked both of them in the head.
"Really ya niggas weird. The only guys in the mall air humping." I said shaking my head.
"Whatever who was she." Thomas asked.
"My next baby momma. Y'all know Rihanna is my baby momma number one forever. She just doesn't know it yet and don't know me, but one of these days she will open her DMs." Keep hope alive y'all. KEEP. HOPE. ALIVE.
"Issues." They both said at the same time.
"How cute when's the wedding?" I said walking away from them. But somehow someway Malcolm ass picked me up.
"Put me down you fake ass light skin Michael B. Jordan!" I yelled.
"He looks nothing like him," Thomas said.
"I said what I said what I said okay so hush. Well, at least I don't have to walk. Onward to Footlocker you peasant, I need some shorts." I said smacking Malcolm ass then went back to eating my ice cream. "Bruh why you got a bubble butt. Got more ass than me, who been hitting them backshots boy. Matter of fact why do I hang around y'all light skin asses."
Malcolm put me down and soon as I got right I turned around and saw Ashleigh.
"Damn Ash following me or did this Neanderthal bring you here to me." I said fixing my shirt.
"We apologize for her. She doesn't know how to shut up sometimes." Thomas said.
"Oh really now. I know all ya little secrets now. I'm bout to be like a book and open all ya shits." Malcolm and Thomas looked at me confused, "y'all know what I mean damn." They shook their head and went to go look at some stuff
"Actually I was wondering if I could get your number." She pulled her phone out and unlocked it. So I put my number in her phone and handed it back to her.
"Better make my line ring though." She texted my phone and my phone went off.
Next thing you know I'm guessing her friends called her over and she left. Damn, she got a ass on her. I hate to see her go, but I love it when she walks away. Or is that how the saying goes. I wonder if her last name Parker so I can say 'when you gone let me fuck Ms. Parker'.
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