Loving Khyree (That Zaddy Collection Book #1)

26

Khyree

I looked at the building, it was run down. I don't know how people managed to live in it. I felt a sense of indecision now, I hadn't seen Carly since the trial 20 years ago. I'm sure she changed a lot, both physically and definetly mentally.

I honestly didn't know what to say, ask or even react to seeing her. For a minute I felt like the twelve year old Khyree again. The one who looked at her as if my world just shattered. She may or may not recognize me, may or may not even wanna talk to me. But I know I had to do this for myself, for my mentality, for my peace....

When you're locked in a tiny cell, with no family, no friends...no one to talk to...your mind wanders and questions start forming, about the actions that led you in the position you were in.

How did I get myself in this place?

Why didn't I just run?

Why didn't she visit me, at the least?

How could she be aight, with her only son, who tried to do everything to make her happy? To make sure she was aight?

What did I do for her to put me, her son, in a position to murder someone?

Why couldn't she just love me...?

Why wasn't I good enough...?

I jerked when I felt the hand softly uncurl my fist. I looked over at Natalie, who gave me her soft tender look. The one where she made me feel as if she would always be there for me. Where she would always be the shoulder to lean on. Where she would always be in my world...

"You can still not go...it's okay if you're not ready." Her quiet voice said to me. I loosened my fist and threaded her fingers with mines. I stared at our hands and I knew I needed to see Carly, to give myself that peace of mind to be happy with Natalie. I loved her and I really couldn't see my life without Natalie. But for me to fully be content and freely happy with her, I needed to shut this door... permanently.

There would be no what ifs or unanswered questions, that would constantly bounce in my mind. I been through so much, with Carly and the shit in prison that I felt as if nothing Carly could say or do to me, would have any affect. Maybe just a little bit, but it wouldn't hurt as much as when I was younger. I had emotionally and mentally learned to keep my emotions in check and learned to ignore the words that would come my way. Carly did so much to me, I realized that there really wasn't anything else that she could do to me.

"I need to. I won't be okay if I don't." Natalie silently nodded her head, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Mrs. Simmons watching me quietly. She gave me her soft smile, that made me feel as if everything would be ok. She wasn't too excited about me coming here, but she still came with me for support.

Like a mother would to her child.

My eyes turned back to the run down building and I took a deep breath in and let it out. I saw Brayton's GTO pull up next to the Escalade. He went to get Petersen and another guy who was a detective. The three of them got out of the car and walked towards us.

"You ok honey...?" Mrs. Simmons asked me. Natalie smoothed her hands up and down my arm, watching me. Reassuring me.

"Yeah..." I cleared my voice. Opening the car door, I stepped out and I shook Petersen's hand. He was about Brayton's height, rocked the bald look with a full beard. Something you wouldn't normally see for a parole officer, but he was cool nonetheless. Making sure I was alright and didn't persistently check on me, like some of the guys complained about their parole officers. As long as I came in for my weekly check ins and passed my piss test, we was good.