The Outsider | SOA

Chapter 11. A little bit of comfort...

The whole ride there was silent, besides the rumble of his Harley. It needed a tune up, but besides that.. He was glad it started so easily. Maybe for once in his life, something would go the way he wanted.

The second he pulled into the parking lot, he ripped off his helmet and dropped to the ground after getting off his motorcycle.

Emotions were overwhelming him.

He felt bad for coming back to the clubhouse especially after leaching off of them for so long, but he was kicked out of his house and didn't have enough money to stay anywhere else. Juice closes his eyes and sniffles, taking a deep breath, before he got off of the ground and shakily walked towards the office.

He knocked soft and timidly, taking a deep breath as he heard Gemma's voice yell out and steps towards the door.

The second the door was opened, he realized he didn't make a mistake.

"Juice, darling.. Come here." Gemma says gently and opens her arms, with a warm, yet sad smile.

Juice quickly launches himself into her arms, after debating for a few moments. His eyes closed tightly as soon as his head laid still on her shoulder and a few tears slipped down his cheeks. "God, I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.." He mutters and sniffles, "I cant't be alone anymore.. I just don't like being alone, I'm not good on my own.." Another few tears slip down his cheeks, "The club is all I have now, no more family.."

"Juice, Juice.. Sweetheart, look at me." Gemma speaks and kisses the top of his head, "We're your family... Me, Jax, Chibs..Opie, Clay. Everything's going to be alright. You're back where you belong," She says gently as Juice looks up at her. She slowly wipes the tears from his cheeks with a small smile. "Dry up those tears, take a deep breath, alright?"

Juice nods slowly and takes a deep breath, blinking a few times before he slowly let go. "Thank you.. and I'm sorry," He mutters brokenly and sniffles, wiping his eyes again.

"Can you walk okay on your own? You're a little wobbly." Gemma says softly and watches him sway.

"Yeah," He nods and takes a breath again, then lets it out. "I'm fine.." He whispers, although Gemma noticed he was trying to convince himself more than her.

Gemma nods slowly, smiling on the outside, but on the inside... She was feeling an array of emotions. She really felt bad for him, he had a bad past that nobody knew about. Demons he was always struggling with, but never let anyone know. "Okay, how about you go clean up? When you're done, at least Happy will be back. I'll go out and get some lunch." Again, he nodded without saying anything. "What do you want to eat?"

"I don't know," He says and shrugs at her. "Maybe a salad, maybe a gun.."

"Juice." Gemma says, her eyebrows raising. It caught her off guard. "No, food." She sighs softly, frowning at the broken expression on his face. "You can't leave just yet, your story, it's not over." Again, he just gave her a small nod before rubbing his face with her hands. "Food. So what would you like for lunch?"

"Grilled cheese? Mac and cheese? A salad. I'm not picky." He mutters, "As long as there's not a lot of meat." Once she nods, he pulls cash out of his wallet and hands it to her, continually holding it when she refuses. "Take it, please."

Gemma sighs and takes it, putting it in her purse. "Go clean up, alright? I'll leave when Hap gets here."

With that, Juice walked through the clubhouse, shakily. Once he reached his room, he opened the door and quickly walked in, closing it behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, taking a deep breath.

He noticed an envelope on his bed and he opened it, sighing as he read it.

Now he really had nothing.

He lost his apartment for good, he had three hours to pick up his things.

Juice ran his hand over his growing hair and choked back a sob, as a few tears dripped down his cheeks. "Holy shit.." He mutters and sniffles, covering his face with his hands.

A few sobs escaped his throat, then he took a deep breath and stood up, going over to the bathroom. He steps inside and grips the counter, looking at his reflection.

Juice's eyes widened slightly, seeing how horribly he looked and he shook his head, trying to wipe up his tears and compose himself. Once he was ready, he shaved off the stubble that was growing on his face and then fixed up his hair.

He brushed his hand over his Mohawk and managed a small smile. He missed it, his signature hair style. Juice has always hated having a lot of hair on his head and that would never change.

He stripped down and climbed into the shower, taking a few deep breaths as he tried to keep calm. Juice washed up his body and then sat on the floor of the shower, taking a deep breath.

He sat like that for a little while, his mind running wild with thoughts. A hard knock on the door brought him out of his mind.

"Juice!" He hears a yell, he recognized it as Happy.

Juiced sighed and turned off the water, then pulled himself off the floor. "Be out in a minute." He said, his voice cracking slightly. He took a breath and then climbed out of the shower, toweling himself off. Juice room a breath and pulled on a new pair of boxers and pants, then opened the door. "What's up?"

"You look like shit." Happy mutters and looks down at him. "Ma left. She wanted me to stay with you."

Slowly, Juice nodded and then reached for a shirt. "Okay." He nods and looks up at Happy, trying to keep himself from bursting into tears. Gnawing on his lip, he nodded and just looked up into Happy's eyes.

"You're a mess, kid." Happy mutters and looks down at the younger man, watching his lip twitch and then his eyes fill with tears.

Then he did something unexpected.

Happy wrapped his arms around him tightly.