Juan Carlos Ortiz was described as a loyal, intelligent, brave but insecure, sorrow filled and miserable, but the man never knew that his luck would change and he'd feel like he did within his first month of living... happy and content. Juan or Juice, which is what he was more commonly called, was always a sad and messed up boy, who never deserved any love.. or at least that's what they told him. All of his issues were from them. Little needy Juan Carlos Ortiz didn't deserve anyone or anything in his life. He had to be alone, he had to be miserable. He was too chaotic to ever be loved or deserve nice things. Too worthless, too weak. So, Juan Carlos wouldn't let anyone close to him. He'd never let them in. He wouldn't even stay in the same room, especially at the club. Oh, the club.. he didn't even feel as if he was a part, because he knew he needed to be miserable, by himself in the insufferable silence and insufferable chaos in his head. He'd never deserve to be taken away from it, he needed to suffer.
When he'd eat at the clubhouse, he'd never stay at the table. He would take his small little scraps and head into the garage. Juan was used to segregating himself, in fact, he'd learn to like it until his head became a mess again. Even when his head was a mess, he still didn't know how to ask for help. He barely even knew how to express himself or even talk to someone, but that was their fault.
It was lunch time at the club. Juice had immediately grabbed left over scraps and raced to the garage, almost dropping the glass plate three times, because of his sweaty hands. His heart was beating excessively, even at the thought of the people that were at the table. He felt like he was stealing.
Within a second, he cracks open the door from the garage back to the hallway and sets his plate down on the floor. Juan Carlos doesn't deserve to eat, he never has. The food should go to someone who deserves to eat, like Jax.. or Chibs... or about every member of the club. Juice wipes his hands on his jeans, taking a breath before he steps towards a car and starts to work on it, completely unaware that everyone at the table was discussing him.
"That poor kid, yeh know?" Chibs sighs, his accent lacing his words. "I know he wants ta be around us, he just can't. There's something wrong with him," The man ran a hand through his black hair and just sighs, again, "Like the poor boy is terrified of us. Ye should've seen 'im when I tapped his shoulder the other day, while he was working in the office."
"If he's so terrified, then maybe he shouldn't be involved with us." Happy responds and leans back in his chair, shrugging. "Obviously he's not capable of handling this. He can't gun run. Can't do deals, none. All he does is use the computer and as good as he is, anybody else can learn. He's not an asset."
Gemma scoffs and shakes her head at Happy, tossing her black hair over her shoulder. "He has great potential. Everyone can see it. You shouldn't be so hard on him, he's doing the best he can."
"Obviously he's conflicted. He's been through something scarring." Opie chimes in, looking across the table at Gemma, then at Happy. "And he'll be better off here with us, instead of on the street."
"We just need someone that's been through a struggle. Someone to get him to open up about this." Jax speaks, then immediately looks at Chibs. "Man, I think you're right for this. You can get to him."
"So it's set." Chibs nods and looks over at the door, sighing when he sees a small plate with scraps of food on it.
"Jesus, this kid isn't even eating." Clay huffs and rolls his eyes, "we can't depend on him if he can't even take care of himself. He's not ready to be a full time member of this club."
"I will handle it." Chibs says as he finishes up eating. He stands up after pushing away from the table, then walks towards the garage. He gets a second thought and smiles, heading into the kitchen. "Bribery will work on, little Juicey boy, 'innit?" He mumbles to himself as he opens one of the cabinets, raising his eyebrows as he looks at all of the contents put in alphabetical order. "Jesus Christ. Gem, you didn't organize did you?"
"No, must've been the boy." She calls back, as she starts to clean up the table and push in the chairs, as all the guys head back to their duties.
"Great," Chibs sighs and grabs a pack of chocolate, then a water bottle and heads back towards the door. He gently opens the door and looks over at Juice, who was working on a car while humming to himself, possibly to ignore the hunger he felt. Chibs could audibly hear the boy's stomach rumbling as he continued to work on the car in front of him. "Juice." Chibs speaks suddenly, cursing under his breath, as he notice the boy jump and drop the tool he had. Chibs slightly winces at the clattering noise, while Juice visibly cringes. "Sorry, for uh, scaring you." He speaks softer this time and sets the plate on the bench. "C'mere."
Juice stands there silently, his hands and knees shaking, as he looks up at Chibs. "I'm not, uhm, hungry." He whispers in a small voice, his cheeks flushing as his stomach growls loudly.
"That's a lie, innit, Juicey boy?" Chibs asks softly, patting the bench. "Come sit." Chibs notices that even his voice was enough to scare Juice, even though he wasn't talking loudly. "Please?" The Scottish man sighs, looking down at the shorter Latino boy, who hesitates for moments before slowly inching closer.
Juice ends up sitting on the floor, a few feet away from Chibs. "Here's fine." He whispers quietly, looking down at the floor as the color became suddenly interesting to him.
"I brought you some chocolate." Chibs says and looks down at him, gently holding out the water bottle. He smiles at Juice lifts his head, "But you have to come sit up here and eat first."
The boy shook his head. He didn't deserve to sit somewhere besides the floor. Juan Carlos would not be spoiled by anybody. Juan Carlos needed to suffer for all the bad things he does. "I'm not hungry." He says and looks up at Chibs, but immediately faces the floor again as he tenses up.
"Juice, come on," Chibs proceeds, then sighs. "I guess I'll just eat all this chocolate by myself." He says and stands up, walking towards the door.
Juice had to think for a minute. He remembered stealing chocolate from gas stations and he remembered how good it used taste, but he knew he didn't deserve it. He thought long and hard before he blurted out,
"No!"
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The Outsider | SOA
FanfictionJuan Carlos Ortiz, a boy with a troubled past. His troubled past starts causing trouble with the club, which ends in him being half in and half out. Will the club be able to get him back before something bad happens? Or will they kick him out after...